Of multiple sclerosis and turtles…
Sometimes the universe conspires for good.
The planets align.
The stars shine brightly.
The Earth revolves around the sun while the moon revolves around the Earth.
All things line up just so and come together to accomplish a monumental task.
Recently, all things came together to give me a new blog topic.
The Monday morning after Easter combined me sobbing in a doctor’s office, not because I was scared, confused or in pain, but because two jerks were mean to me, with me watching something emotional on TV and reading one particular email that sparked a key understanding in my world. An understanding that I somehow missed in my 11 plus years of living with multiple sclerosis.
Here’s what went went down-
It was time for my minor surgical procedure. The one that the doctor said we needed to do “just in case” my abnormal body was being scary in it’s abnormality.
(To read more about abnormal me see my last blog post, Me, An Absolute Abnormality.)
Because of the word “surgical” meaning, anesthesia, I needed a ride. I highlighted the word “minor” in my mind and stayed focused on that. Then the office told me a I needed to be at the surgical center in the middle of the night, ie, 7 AM.
Since it was 30 mins away, that is the middle of the night to me. I had many caring folks who offered to give me a ride, including many friends who are never up that early. Back in the day, we would still be out partying at 7 AM and trying our best to get it together so we would look somewhat presentable for work. Thus, the middle of the night.
My life no longer finds me partying to all hours, but it certainly finds me sleeping to all hours. I didn’t want to get up and be anywhere that early and so I really didn’t want to make people in my life get up that early either, especially for something “minor.”
Plus, I had to fast. How could I get together with my friends that early without desperate caffeine meant to sober me up quickly? I just couldn’t do it.
My secondary insurance comes with a ride for medical procedures if needed. I decided to go with that option, which meant, my insurance would send a cab for me, nice and simple.
Until the cab showed up and it was driven by a rather unfriendly young gentleman. I have no idea what he was so unfriendly about? Afterall, he was allowed a coffee for the ride.
Had he just stopped partying and was trying to get himself together? If so, I could relate.
But no chatting was to be had which was fine with me. In the area he asked me where the place was. I had no idea as this was the first time I was told to be there and gave him the address.
“I HAVE the address,” he snapped. “None of the buildings are marked!”
He said it like it was my fault.
Still, it was 6:45. How could I expect him to be cheery when even the sun was barely awake? And it WAS the day after Easter. Maybe all the bunny brought him were some awful peeps and black jelly beans?
Did I mention it was also rainy and dreary?
At the center I called in as directed and was told to wait in my car due to covid; they would instruct me when to come in. Once again, cab driver snapped. “I can’t just sit here! I have other fares. Can’t you wait outside or something?”
The cold rain was more pleasant than the driver and so I called the office again, still from the cab so as to not get my phone wet, and told them I would be waiting on the bench somewhat covered by the overhang of the roof. Then the receptionist snapped, “you took a cab here???? We really don’t like patients to do that!”
This was information that would have been nice to know right around the time that they kept saying “minor” to me.
She continued, “I’m assuming you have someone at home who who can monitor you today and make sure you’re alright??? You need to have someone with you later, which is why, you’re not supposed to take a cab!”
Turtles.
I was surrounded by snapping turtles.
I replied, “I was not told that, I’m here and we’re doing this thing. I’ll be waiting on the wet bench,” and then I jumped out of the cab so I could be done with mean turtle #1.
The office did let me inside the building, despite covid procedure. BUT, they made me wait in a locked alcove directly outside the bathrooms. Turtle 2 brought me paperwork to sign and one of the forms was to confirm I’d been given the patient bill of rights. I hadn’t and said so.
“Well, you should have!”
Snap, snap, and more snapping.
I waited as someone came by to use the restroom and looked uncomfortable seeing me sitting right outside of the men’s room door. I waited until he came back 10 minutes later, still disappointed to see me and clearly in some type of gastrointestinal distress.
I decide to circle the alcove and get my steps in so as to avoid embarrassment for us both. It was then that another male knocked on the door and asked me to let him in. I said I didn’t know if that was ok. He told me it was, he was a doctor. I let him. I looked at my watch and it was after 7:30. I called and got turtle 2 again. I asked what was taking so long and told her I’d let someone into the building, apparently earning my waiting time as a doorman.
“We don’t want you to do that!”
Snap!
“We need you to sit in your seat until the nurse gets you.”
Now I was mad but what could I do? I sat back down and waited for the poor gentlemen in the men’s room, trying to look casual as he finished up his lengthy business. Just as he did, a nice nurse called my name and took me back.
Maybe it was because she was so nice that I burst into tears!!!
I tried to explain why I was so upset, and she did the exact wrong thing; she tried to make me feel better.
“That’s ok.” “Everyone back here is nice.” “You don’t have to worry; this will be fine.”
I wasn’t worried. I was mad!!! Why did I have to deal with 2 people snapping away at me when I thought I was doing what was asked of me. The tears continued as I was hooked up to anesthesia, fell asleep, and was woken up after the procedure and sent home, pain free.
Just before I got into a new cab with a different driver who didn’t snap at me once, I was handed discharge paperwork and the patient bill of rights, which read, “you need to have a driver who will WAIT for you and someone with you at home to make sure you don’t have a reaction to anesthesia.”
The timing of this information made me even madder. I got home, made some tea, curled up on the sofa, and stewed.
I wasn’t in pain. I wasn’t worried about the test results. But I was still angry.
When did this happen? When did something as silly as two jerks being mean to me get me so upset? It’s not the first time someone has been mean to me. Mean is a word I learned early. Like as early as age 4.
I distinctly remembering yelling at my big sister, “Laurie, you big meanie!”
To take my mind off my emotions, I put on the trial of Dereck Chauvin where I watched expert witnesses detail the proper police procedural holds, what is safe and appropriate and what is not. Not the best viewing for someone already upset and who had several other emotions careening in my brain and heart about the death of George Floyd.
The expert started talking about tactics used when someone is having a “behavioral episode.”
Huh.
I listened more as the same expert described ways to de-escalate someone in an emotional crisis. Was that it? Was my tantrum some sort of behavioral health crisis? Perhaps behavioral health crisis was a little extreme, but it did get me thinking.
When the trial took the morning recess, yes, it was now approximately 11 AM, a much better hour to call morning, I grabbed my laptop and checked my email. There, in my inbox, was a new blog by my friends Dan and Jennifer Digman, discussing Anger and MS.
Wow!
Timing.
I dived in and learned that my angry crying jag might be due to MS.
I had known this. I actually wrote a blog about it years ago that I had completely forgotten, Call Me Oscar.
Still, it was nice to have the reminder and the links to help me deal. Because, I know, there will always be snapping turtles in my life, even if I’m not hanging out by any lakes or ponds. But I have to better handle how they affect me.
What a relief, something I forgot I could blame on MS and I will.
After I blame the turtles….
🤗🤗 always enjoy reading your blog.
Thank you!!!! You totally rock!
Well Damn I offered to drive you and can you imagine if I was in the waiting area with you?, You know me I would have snapped right back lol… Glad all went well and hope we can get together again soon.
Great response! Me too.
Can never find the emojis on the comment page but if I could, I’d be sending a bunch of smiling ones!!
I was so grateful for that but it reminded me too much of our partying days. Next time we are both up that early we better have caffeine and be doing something fun!! Maybe our next ladies night will have to turn into ladies dawn???
lol I will be in the doghouse but it would be well worth it lol
LOL!!
As always, you’re wonderful…
Mad, weepy and any other way.
And lady? I would have been perfectly happy to drive you.
Thank you so much my friend!!!! And you didn’t know this, but you were one of the people I thought about calling and I greatly appreciate that. Though I might have asked you to pull your briefcase out of retirement, just for the ride. Lol! And I think you are wonderful too!!!
You are, as always, a delight to read. I am sorry you have to deal with these side effects of our neuro conditions. I constantly fight the many levels of manifestations. I wish I could assume the burden of us all so everyone otherwise dealing with them could be left in peace.
Oh my friend, you have enough on your plate to take on all our struggles. It’s not the best club we are in, is it? I’m sorry that we have to share this suckiness but glad that if we have to do it together, we can vent and relate to each other. And make fun of the MS bully whenever possible even if it means we have to make fun of the turtles in our lives. Thank you for calling me a delight. You wouldn’t have been finding me delightful that day-lol!! My best to you friend.
After reading about your interactions with all these unpleasant people with obvious personality deficiencies, I’m left to ask myself: “Who is actually the sick person here?”
Hang in there, girl.
Love that Rick- thank you!!! I felt that too. Giving people information about what they need to have before surgery to recover from surgery after surgery seemed like an MS move to me. You hang in there as well.
Unhealthy! You are too kind!
But the world has gone mad. Too bad you didn’t print the names of those snapping turtles.
Thank you Pat. With the discharge papers and the patient bill of rights they gave me a survey- big mistake. They would have been much better to mail it to me weeks later, after I had calmed down. As for turtle #1, well, he knows where I live. Lol!
My anger rears it’s head from time to time, usually when I’m tired. Now I can blame it on ms, too. Thanks! You’ve given another tool to use. 🤔😉
Thank you Cindy. But this MS symptom I forgot about so the thanks goes to Dan and Jennifer Digman and to timing. I got the reminder when I needed it most. But we need all the tools we can manage so it’s all good!!
Thanks for writing about this, this week. I needed it.
Here is my week,
A weekend of pain shooting from cheek to nose on the left side. It had been around for a while, but I ruled out dentist work last week and knew that I had to go to the Neurologist.
Call to the neurologist office gets me an appointment for the same day.(Unusual, but I think maybe it is because I said I was in pain.)
I told my hubby that something was different with the clinic, but chalked it up to they have moved to a new location(repurposed old bar.)
We sit on one side of the office and talk to another person that had a history of town.
After they took me back for temps/blood pressure, we had to change our seats.
When we sat down in a new location, I notice funeral bulletins on the table next to me. Apparently my doctor had passed away and no one thought to mention it.
New doctor is great, she is visiting from New Mexio. She diagnosis my problem and promises a medicine that should help. I will also need a new MRI. No problem I can handle that.
Now the kicker, no prescription on Monday — No problem it was late in the day when I had my appoint.
Tuesday — No prescription or MRI orders, I call in the afternoon. The clinic hasn’t had a doctor from outside before… They need to do more paperwork before the orders are written.
Friday — Woke up this morning to a text from the doctor letting me know that the prescription has been sent to the pharmacy and the MRI will be ordered soon.
When I get to work I learn that they have more teachers out than they have subs, so will be teaching a language arts class first hour. (On the plus, the students are all on task and great.)
Friday 9:30 email from my online pharmacy that they are processing my prescription. That puts another two days until the prescription can start.
Best thing to do today is smile… What else is there? Be happy that it is Friday.
Oh wow my friend- what a frustrating week!! I’ve said it before and said it again, the frustration is what gets me the most. While this post was about my anger when I was being snapped at, frustration is so much harder to deal with. I’m thinking of you and hoping you can get the needed RX ASAP. Glad you like the new neurologist but sorry to hear about the passing of your prior one. What a way to let patients know-by leaving the funeral notice hanging around the waiting room. My very best to you my friend- I hope your weekend gets better soon.
Yvonne,
You know what? I’ve always tried to remember the words once spoken to me (& frequently repeated by me to my kids), “You can’t change people, only your reaction to them.” But guess what? We are only human. It is certainly all right to have and acknowledge our emotions. I’d be pissed and you certainly had every right to be. It’s wonderful you have this forum in which to those express those feelings safely.
It’s helpful to so many of us. We live in a world where so many don’t understand MS, let alone so many of our invisible symptoms (e.g.fatigue-“But you look just fine! Why are you cancelling again???).
I’ve finally learned to heed the advice of a good friend after a day spent with my own hoard of snapping turtles. She told me, go sit in a nice bath and let it all out. Cry, yell, whatever. Acknowledge those feelings, then take any action you think necessary (calls, letters, feedback to people or institutions) and then let it go.
Bless you for your stories and your humor that normalize what so many of us are experiencing.
Thank you!
Thank you so much Victoria!!!! And what a wise friend you have! I totally agree with her- we need to get these bad emotions out for sure. I love doing it with humor though sometimes, and with some things, you’re just not feeling so funny. So grateful to you for reading and for your comment. My very best to you friend!
Your writing always makes me feel better. I missed the memo about MS and crying! I’m sorry you had that bout of dealing with the snappers. Do you ever feel like you need to do everyone’s jobs? You didn’t get a job as a cab driver. You didn’t forget to give you paperwork.
Thank you so much Carol! I glad to help as we are all on this journey together and this is how it works. Dan and Jennifer remind me of something and then I pass it on and then you’ll pass it on and so on…… Kind of like that old shampoo commercial- “and they’ll tell two friends and they’ll tell two friends and so on and son on…..” Lol. And yes, I did feel like I was doing their job. And everyone can have a bad day and/or make a mistake but they were both ridiculous. So what do I have to do? Make fun of them! My best to you friend
A slight bit of comfort to stew on One day the worm will turn and ALL those turtles will be on the receiving of a large group of snaking turtles LOL As far as the abnormality My wife says I have gone from normally odd to abnormally odd LOL 😃
Too funny and too true my friend!!! We abnormalities have to stick together!!