If You…

A test for illness that your doctor is NOT trying to get

Happy Month of Green and Orange!

Green for St. Patrick’s Day and orange for MS Awareness Month.  For whichever you may be participating in, I tip my orange shamrock hat to you.  If you participate in both, then double orange lucky leprechauns are being sent your way.

But as they say, beware of the the Ides of March and the Ides this month brought Corona virus into our world.

And it’s frightening all of us.

This is not the Corona ideal for relaxing beach vacations splashed with a hint of lime.  (How in the world did they come up with this name? Poor beer drinkers.)

Do you know what happens when you mix the colors of green and orange?  You get the color brown, which is not really fun, not really worth celebrating and not completely the reason for the toilet paper shortage.

Speaking of shortages, one of the main problems with this virus is that there aren’t enough test kits available for all who need them, which seems totally inane.  The only way to really check your self is by taking your temperature. But a high temperature can be present for several reasons so that is not much of a test at all.

If only there was a test you could take at home to help you figure out if you have the virus but, alas, I do not know of any.

After living with multiple sclerosis for over ten years and being qualified as a professional patient (if you disagree I offer this, one of my prior posts as proof,) I would like to help.  But the only home testing I can offer at this point is one for chronic illness.

While my self-designed test has yet to be approved by the CDC– they said they may look at it after they get this horrific virus under control, in honor of MS Awareness Month I would like to offer it to you now.

If you say yes to any of these questions, you MAY have a chronic illness.

Then again, you MAY NOT.

But having a guide from a professional patient such as myself may help you sort out a base line.

If you are ever too tired to go to bed, you may have a chronic illness

If you know the most direct route to every generally clean bathroom on your most used road trips, you might have a chronic illness

If your mom calls and asks you to look up her medications for her, and you can already tell her what each is for as soon as she rattles them off, you might have a chronic illness.

If you can’t walk an invisible line you’ve imagined in your living room to check your balance, you may have a chronic illness.  Or you may have just had too much of the good Corona.

If your own medication list needs to be updated EVERY time you go to your doctor’s office, you might have a chronic illness

If you have more than one doctor with a ‘gist’ in their title, you might have a chronic illness

If you can’t remember what you came to an appointment for, but can remember the name of every medical assistant, nurse and office assistant in the practice, you might have a chronic illness

If you have one or more specific medical needs that are noted on your chart but hard for your doctor to remember, (mine is ‘please use a manual cuff when taking my blood pressure’ as I’m terrified of the automatic one,) you might have a chronic illness

If you have little trouble with needles but are terrified of the automatic blood pressure cuff, you might have a chronic illness

If you have more medications than can fit into a weekly pill dispenser, you might have a chronic illness

If all you can think about is the fact that you can’t think, you may have a chronic illness

If you have to schedule rest time into your day, you may have a chronic illness

If you have to schedule bathroom breaks into your day, you may have a chronic illness

If you feel horrible but look great, you may have a chronic illness.  But I think we all know this one.

There you go.  Hopefully, my home test will help you, but you may want to check with your doctor as well.

In the meantime, sending virtual high fives to all of you and hoping you are doing what’s needed to keep your self and your neighbors safe.  If you’re going to get Corona, make sure it’s a tasty kind.

And please never forget, pandemic or not, giggles are still good for you!!!!

BTW- thank you to Jeff Foxworthy for my baseline testing format.

Do you need an RX for some giggles?  Want to spend some of your isolation reading?  Haven’t had a chance to check out MS Madness!  A “Giggle More, Cry Less” Story of Multiple Sclerosis?  Now might be a perfect time!