If the Machine is Out of Order, Your Life Might Be Too

Laundry day, laundry week and multiple sclerosis

A while ago I wrote a blog titled Laundry Day.  I’m quite proud of it and it remains one of my favorites.  Basically, it described how if you have multiple sclerosis and need to do laundry, that’s likely all you’re going to do that day.

Today’s post stomps all over Laundry Day and it only has a little to do with MS.  File it under “too bizarro to believe so you just know it has to be real.”

I can’t really blame this particular incident on MS, though I’ve tried.

And tried again.

Thursday was to be laundry day for me.  I had three loads which was fine as there are 2 common rooms with laundry in my complex, and each has 3 front loading washers and 3 dryers.

I put my loads in, added the additives and the quarters.

I watched each machine start up and then went to do an errand.

When I got back, 2 of the machines were on their final rinse cycle.  But the first machine was flashing the words “out of order” at me and making this hideous beeping sound that went right through me, piercing the lone parts of my brain that are lesion free.

No biggie I thought, I’ll just wash them again.  Annoying but so what if it takes a little longer and an extra five quarters?  There are worse things in the world than just having to rewash one load of laundry.

I got my other clothes into the available dryers and went to take my laundry from the broken machine.  But the door was locked.

Seriously.

Somehow the machine had malfunctioned and decided it wanted my wet clothes to keep it company during the malfunctioning stress.

Did I mention that this load contained my unmentionables?  Underwear, socks, and some towels made up the pile.

Bob from maintenance came in and I told him my predicament.  He tried the door and confirmed that yes, I was right.  The door was locked.

Bob is great and so is the management of my complex.  They, however, do not maintain the washers or even the dryers and thus I needed to call the washing machine company.

I dialed the number and waited.

I waited through the hideous beeping and the sounds of the two dryers, hoping the whole time that I wouldn’t get disconnected as the building didn’t have the best cell service.  I was a little tired but hey, it was laundry day and so I needed to get this done.

After 20 minutes a woman answered and told me a trick.  I should press my knee against the door handle and hold for 15 seconds, as sometimes that releases the lock.

It did not.

I kept HER on hold while I tried again.  I tried pressing for 15 seconds, 18 seconds, 20 seconds, and even 30 seconds.  The door remained locked.

“Okay,” the woman said, “we’ll send a repairman out and put an emergency tag on it.”

“What does emergency mean?” I asked.  “A couple of minutes? A couple of hours? Longer?”

She had no idea.

I looked up the company on my phone and was relieved to see that they operated 24/7.  It may be late and that sucks but I would hear from them soon.  I went home and waited into the wee hours of the night and heard nothing.  I did finish some of my washing but alas, laundry day would have to be continued.

The next morning, I checked and there was the “out of order” sign still flashing, the beep still beeping and the door still locking.

I whined to management and they said they would call too.  They don’t usually get involved but since my wet clothes were still stuck in the machine, they would give it a shot.  Bob said he would try to unplug and then plug the machine back in.  After a few hours, the office called and said that unplugging the machine didn’t work, they had called and were given a trick to try to open the machine, but it didn’t work either.

“Did you hold your knee against the lock for 15 or 20 seconds?”

The office assured me that they were promised the situation was tagged as an emergency.  I went home and filed a work order online.

And then it was the weekend.

I headed to the laundry room once again, eager to rescue my clothes but nothing had changed.  A neighbor who lived near the building happened by, expressed her horror at the situation and promised to be on the lookout for the repairman.

On Sunday I, now very worried about my likely moldy underwear, ran over to check on it.  Or, at least, I tried to tell my Fitbit I ran over.  It was too smart for me.

“You run?  I’m not dumb ya know. Whaddya think I am, a WiiFit? Where is your Wii anyway?”

While my WiiFit is no longer in my life, my Fitbit seems to have adopted it’s snarky attitude.

Ran, walk, meandered, it didn’t matter.  My undies and such were still being held captive by a wicked electronic entity that couldn’t even bother to send a ransom note.

On Monday, the office was shocked by my laundry predicament.  “How could this be?” they marveled.  “How could they still not have sent someone to release your undergarments?”

We had a long conversation in the other laundry room while I washed the few remaining under garments I owned, so as not to be spending the cold winter days going commando.  Luckily for me, just the past week I had finally checked “sort through sock drawer” off my “to do list,” weaning everything but the best of the best of socks which were now being ripened in an evil machine.

This time, Carol from the office said she would call in a service request as well.  Another neighbor happened by and said she had called too.

Later, a friend mentioned I should contact the washer people on social media.  I did but was bummed that my message only posted privately.  Seems the company had the wherewithal to hire social media experts but not emergency repairmen.

I also posted the predicament on Facebook where I received over 30 emojis and almost as many comments such as “have crowbar, will travel,” “have you called the police?  Isn’t this petty theft?” “kick it” “call the local news” “I have a sledgehammer and get off at 3” and several “unplug it and plug it back in” responses.  A couple of FB friends took to social media to complain as well.

I was really inclined towards the breaking the washer comments but was too worried that I may then have to pay for the machine.

Tuesday came and went and all I had to show for it was a message from Carol at the office telling me that she had downloaded the company’s cell phone app, filed a complaint there and they promised they had an emergency work order in place.

That was the end for me.  I was beyond exhausted and over the whole ordeal. I vowed that the next day, Wednesday, would be a much needed day of rest only.  A day for healing and a day for recouping.  I would spend it not thinking and not doing.  I wouldn’t answer the phone and wouldn’t care about the world or washing machines or clean laundry or dirty laundry.  I went to bed finally feeling calm.

At 8 AM Wednesday my phone pinged with a text from my neighbor, “they’re here!! The laundry people are here!!”

I didn’t care.

I’d moved on from laundry woes and was just going to rest.

Then my phone pinged with a voice mail, “hi, this Al, from the laundry company.  I fixed the machine and left a wash cycle for you as you might want to rewash your clothes.  They smell really bad.”

So what?  I don’t care!!  Screw my clothes and screw you Al!

Then the office called.  The clothes reeked, the building smelled like a sewer and if I left some detergent out, Bob would come get it and wash my clothes for me.

I really didn’t want Bob washing even my clean underwear and socks, never mind my moldy, mildewy, sewer smelling ones.  But what could I do?

Still in my pj’s, I put some bleach, Oxi-Clean, laundry sanitizer, white vinegar, baking soda, hydrogen peroxide, Tide, alcohol, lye, and ammonia outside my door.

I wanted Bob to have all the options he needed.

About ½ an hour later, Suzy called.  Susy had an office in the building where my clothes were. She wanted me to know that she had used the free wash cycle to wash the machine itself and had scrounged up just enough quarters to run an actual wash that might potentially return my clothes to some semblance of normal.

I felt a little like the scene in The Perfect Storm when Captain George Clooney looks at the big wave and says to fishermen Mark Wahlberg “it’s not going to let us out.”

This laundry predicament wasn’t going to go away and allow me to have the much needed rest and relief I sought.  No, I was not facing a colossal life taking clusterf**K of a storm.  What I was facing was a colossal fatigue inducing clusterf**k of a malfunctioning washing machine predicament.

I dressed and headed over to the laundry room once again.  I definitely did not run this time. I barely shuffled.

But, surprisingly, the building didn’t stink as badly as I was told it did.  Seems one load of wash did help the smell.  But I didn’t trust anything.

I DID NOT use the same washer and though I was beyond thinking and moving, managed to somehow rewash my clothes twice more- once with Oxi-clean and bleach and once with Oxi-clean and laundry sanitizer.

And the funny thing is, when I took them out of the dryer, they did seem clean.  They didn’t smell fresh, but they didn’t smell awful either. Perhaps there was a slight whiff of mildew but not bad at all.

Still, I couldn’t deal.  Many people said I should toss them and demand the company reimburse me. Other people said they were fine, and I should put them away and move on.  Would I ever trust them again?  Could my germaphobia ever forget that this laundry was once stitched with the threads of foulness?

I didn’t know and so I put them in a garbage bag while I tried to decide and wrote to the company for reimbursement.

That was 2 weeks ago.  The clothes remain in the bag and I still don’t know if I should throw them out or wear them.  In the meantime, I have heard from the washing machine people that they will give me the money to replace them but while I wait for a check that doesn’t bounce away, I now go to the laundry room several times a week to wash the few clothes that weren’t in that load.  My whole MS concept of doing laundry has now shifted and become completely “out of order.”  So hmmmm….. maybe this post has something to do with MS after all…

Update- Though I have been informed by the company that they will compensate me for the clothes, I still have them bagged.  What would you do my friends?  Would you-

1. Take them out of the bag and wear them
2. Take them out of the bag and throw them away
3. Hide the bags somewhere in your tiny apartment and never think about them again

 

Hi friends!

Big day coming up.  Huge, even.  A day when three important things come together.

February 15^th is President’s Day.  Shout out to our deceased Commanders in Chief, President Biden, and the members of the President’s Club!

And for many, February 15^th is the start of February school vacation which is great for students and teachers.  Parents stuck in a Covid world?  Not so much.

And if all of that isn’t a reason to observe, it happens to be one of my favorite holidays- Half Off Chocolate Hearts Day!!!

Whatever you celebrate, be safe and have fun!