Coming Down Again, the Tube that is!

Major Radioactive Insanity

Someone near and dear to me is having an MRI soon.  They’ve had MRI’s before, but this one is with contrast and it’s not even to look at MS lesions! 

I thought contrast was ONLY to look at MS lesions.  Who knew that radiologists would inflict such a weird thing as an intravenous dye into other patients besides just patients with the weird disease of multiple sclerosis

Maybe that’s why they didn’t color the dye orange, the official MS color?  They likely didn’t want to exclude other conditions and diagnoses if they were going to be shoothing this stuff into people with all kinds of ailments.

Anyway, I feel like MS sometimes limits my ability to be helpful to others.  Not always of course, I have lots and lots of good gifts to offer.  But in this case, one thing I can offer is experience and I sure have experience on the subject of having an MRI! 

And so, even though this is a repeat post, I thought it was time to review it before my loved one’s MRI and for all of you to remember if you have this fun test coming up in the near future.

And if you’re still with me after this post, read on for my rant that has me furious with one of the world’s most beloved companies.  

Lessons from an MRI

2013 started in my world with two afternoons of MRI’s, my fifth set since my body started tingling all over, and not in a good way.   You would think that having previously undergone four MRI’s in a three year period, I would know what to expect.  And since I’m generally not claustrophobic, the process wouldn’t be that horrible.   But each time I walk in, I have completely forgotten lessons learned in the past and its like I’m having this test for the first time.

This year, however, I got smart and thought to write down the things I learned so that I will be better prepared for the sixth MRI series.  And since I will forget where I put this list, I am publishing it here so that maybe some of you can remind me of these lessons when I need them.  Feel free to adopt any of these yourself if you are about to be shot down the tube.

The technologists will tell you that MRI is an abbreviation for Magnetic Resonance Imaging.  They are lying.  MRI is actually short for “Major Radioactive Insanity.”  Major, because while there really isn’t any pain involved, while you are stuck in the tube it feels like a really big deal.

And do not let the technologists tell you any different, there is some sort of radioactivity involved.  If there wasn’t, why would you have to wait for the green sign to light up before you enter the room?  The way the technologists freak out if you step just a little too closely to the door while the light is red, there has got to be some type of radio something or other going on.  Radioactivity, radio frequency, Sirrus satellite radio, whatever.  It is radio something and it is serious.

And insanity?  Yes, what goes through your mind while you are in there is nothing if not insane.

Ladies, you cannot wear a bra.  Even if you know for sure that there’s no metal anywhere in or on your bra, there is, somewhere.  The little hooks or the synthetic material of a sports bra have microscopic bits of metal in them.   Even if you happen to be a 34A and wearing a light cotton/lace thingy with mesh hooks, you need to take it off; if only out of respect for those of us who must wear underwire over the shoulder boulder holders.

 

Go to the bathroom before starting the test.  Once beginning the test, keep reminding yourself you do not need to pee again.  You really don’t.  It is just part of the insanity, this bladder mirage.

If you panic that maybe the technologists have forgotten you in the machine and left for the day, don’t push the panic button to check.   It will only delay the time you are stuck there and really, really annoy them.  And trust me; you don’t want the technologists annoyed with you until after the MRI is over.

If you get super bored, don’t push the panic button just for something to do.  They don’t like that either.

If you think you might seriously panic about being stranded (this particular panic occurs to me during the brain MRI when they actually have to lock my head into the MRI vise), then take their car keys and lock them in your assigned locker.   You won’t be able to take the locker key into the tube with you (its metal), but you can hide it somewhere in the outer room and then kill the time in the tube trying to remember where you hid the key.  At least it will be hidden from the techs so that they can’t leave until they bring you out and you have all searched for the locker key you so carefully hid.

If, while your brain rambles during the test, you get a sudden desire to reach out to an ex-boyfriend, ex- boss, ex- party buddy, ex- friend, or ex- roommate, don’t do it as soon as you get your phone back.  This is another MRI mirage.  If contacting your ex anything wasn’t a good idea before you went into the tube, it is DEFINITELY not a good idea once you get out.

 

If your doctor orders something called “contrast,” at some point the technologist will slide you out of the machine and inject ink into your body. This does not mean that later in the day you will spit, sweat, pee or cry pretty colors, which is a total bummer.  I hoped to create my own MRI/MS Rorschach print. Damn, you just can’t have any fun with MS.

 

Speaking of bodily fluids, you still don’t have to pee.  Well, ok, by now you probably do.   Try to ignore this fact.  You won’t be able to ignore it but trying to will at least give you something else to do until the test is over.

The MRI takes five hours.  It doesn’t really, but if you think that it does before you go in, the actual time it takes will be a little more bearable.

You will be able to keep your socks on.  If you choose to do this, make sure your socks have non skid, gripper soles, like the kind they put on little kids feetie pajamas.  If you don’t, when you are finally free to go you may likely be so excited to get out of there that your socks slip, causing you to slide across the floor, bang your head on the table you just go off of, and have to repeat the whole process all over again to see what damage you have just caused your brain in your excitement to get off the table.

At least the base line tests will already be done.

(So, no, I didn’t actually hit my head on the table when I slid across the floor.  But I came close and MUST remember feetie socks next time.)

Finally, the biggest MRI lesson is that if the technologist gives you a disc to take to your doctor, never, ever look at it without your doctor present.  If you do, you will be convinced that you have the spine of a frog, and the brain of Frankenstein which will cause you to enter into a state of depression the whole week until your appt where your doctor will tell you that what you were actually looking at was an old Rorschach test you happened to have hanging around your disc drive.

Happy insanity, ooops, I mean imaging, everyone.

 

Rant

According to Yahoo news last week, Selma Blair rocked DWTS and judge Carrie Ann Inaba mentioned how touched she was as a fellow member of the invisible illness community.

I would have loved to watch myself, as another member of “the invisible illness community” and as a fan of DWTS. I’ve always talked about the show with others and cheered various contestants with particular struggles, keeping a running tab on Jack Osbourne’s performances, another person with multiple sclerosis. But this year, Disney, the parent company of ABC has chosen to only air DWTS on its Disney+ channel.

Hey Disney, here’s some news, having an illness is expensive and many people in the invisible illness community can’t work full or even part time, and can’t afford all the expensive premium channels out there, including yours. To take a popular show with high ratings and after years insist people pay for it is just wrong. Especially when you feature a role model such as Ms. Blair this season.

 

Having so many channels premiere such great content on free networks, only to be told at the end of the content that the show is available only on a paid channel is obnoxious. But to have a long running free show now aired on a paid channel and then feature a role model for a community consisting of many who can’t afford that channel is just offensive and to me, another sign that Disney’s wholesomeness is rooted first and foremost in the almighty dollar and will do whatever it needs to get the most bang for it’s buck, however and wherever it can.

Ms. Blair, I hope you continue to do well on the show and in life. But Disney, I hope this season’s DWTS gamble fails miserably……

14 thoughts on “Coming Down Again, the Tube that is!”

  1. I have had more MRI’s, CATscans, X-Rays and all kinds of other tests and spent a month on a nuclear test site just for the heck of it. They don’t even bother to tell me about radiation any more. I just get comfortable and try to nap. Deep breathing cuts off any concerns. Have a great day!

    Reply
    • Thank you so much for your input and greetings Craig!! I wrote this article before they started allowing you to pick out a music genre to listen while you just try to get through the process. Now you get cool music- awful buzzing sound- weird knocking sound- cool music- buzz again and repeat! But it does help the mind wander….. I wonder if Tom Petty was high or if it was Halloween when he recorded Zombie Zoo or were Mick and Keith getting along when they wrote Waiting on a Friend……. But that just leads to lot’s of Googling when I get out. But hey, whatever works!!

      Reply
  2. Yvonne~

    I go to sleep during every MRI I’ve ever had except one. The one where I didn’t sleep was because the tech had the MRI head vise so tight that it bruised under my chin. I wore that bruise for at least a week! I see my Neurologist this Tuesday and I anticipate MRI(s).

    That is crap about DWTS!!

    Love & hugs my friend!

    ~Susan~

    Reply
    • Wild you can sleep through it Susan- good for you!!! I’ve never been able to sleep exactly but one time I think I did get into a weird Zen like state and was actually startled when the tech came on to tell me they were coming to get me. It took me a second to figure out who the voice belonged too and why they were coming for me!! Thank you for the input friend. Love and hugs back!!!

      Reply
  3. My last MRI was at least 10 years ago and there will be NO others. I stopped my medication and what will be will be. I always knew Gadolinium doesn’t leave your body and it is toxic so in my 20+ years with this miserable disease I have had a total of 3 MRIs and no more. I am so sorry your friend had to have this test but know we now use the latest most expensive version 3 Tesla of the machine which you will ultimately pay up the proverbial arse for which doesn’t show anything different from the others but oh how Medicine loves new equipment. In my time I have ordered many MRIs but not until I had to have them myself did I realize how grueling they were. As for DWTS Selma is using this as a platform to get back into her career. Her speech is still terrible and she tires easily and frankly was never an “A” star anyway. I appreciate she went through the bone marrow transplant suffering the slings and arrows that comes with that therapy and I truly wish her well. As for Jack Osborne – that family is a cluster of lies and I really doubt he had MS or the “life saving” procedure. But whatever you choose to believe we are all different and this crap disease manifests in different ways with different people. GO SELMA for making more people aware of this miserable disease and even if that was a pity vote I don’t care as maybe some people will now “get it” about MS and not believe the new Ocrevus commercial where the ACTORS feel like they are “in heaven.” I know the drug well and believe me there is nothing heavenly about it. Good pointers about having to pee but don’t forget that awful noise that bolts you out of the blue if you are not warned and the warmth that goes through your body when they administer the contrast. I hope you are doing well and are not in need of an MRI soon. Enjoy life and like Nikki Newman on Young and Restless and the doctor on “The Resident” maybe someday there will be a miracle treatment and we will all be free of this monster. Great article BTW.

    Reply
    • Thank you my friend. I hear you about stopping the meds and the tests- they do a number on your psyche and your body. I’m not quite ready for that yet, I kind of like visiting my neurologist too much. But I respect your choice and really and always respect and am grateful for your knowledge and feedback. Thank you for reading and as always, my very super best to you!!!

      Reply
  4. Thanks for all your advice. Good luck with your MRI. My last one was the worst. I have always had technicians that get done early. This one took the full three hours.

    My way to pass time is to listen to a book that you have read before. This time I chose a historical romance that wasn’t anything like I had seen before. The only reason to remember the title is so I don’t read/listen again.

    On the positive side for MRIs, that is how I was diagnosed. I didn’t even know we were looking for MS. The radiologist called the doctor to recommend contrast. My time has not been the same.

    Reply
    • Hi Darla That is such an awesome idea!!!! How do you do it? Do you ask the technologists to put it in a player of some kind for you. I love books on tape and can’t take a road trip without one. This is a great tip! My MRI was the way I was diagnosed too. I guess mine was so clear that there wasn’t any question. My neurologist said it was like the lesions were spelling out multiple sclerosis right over my brain, which would be really cool if the contrast did that, but I digress. Thank you for the MRI tip someone can actually use!!

      Reply
  5. After 20 years of MS treated from 2000 to 2006 with Rebif(efficient to that year) and then Avonex(not efficient to calm down my lesions’ number increase) i found this website ww w. healthherbsclinic. com just 3 months ago, and their current natural health tech to help curb/manage it. It has made a tremendous difference for me I had improved walking balance, muscle strength and improved vision, always thankful for nature that helps in managing these terrible diseases. Visit www. healthherbsclinic. com

    Reply
    • Thank you for your input Michele. I can neither approve or disapprove of this product but I left it here for my readers to evaluate themselves. My best to you.

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  6. New to your site…. and am loving it! I needed a pick-me-up today.

    It was diagnosed with Secondary MS on June 2, 2021. The MRI showed a brain lesion on my right side. According to the neurologist (and based on the size of the lesion), I’ve been living with MS for YEARS.

    The best thing is that I have a good excuse to blame my lack of coordination, falls and occasional forgetfulness. And, I now get all the best parking spots! (Although truth be told, I’d trade it for being to walk “normal” again.)

    My motto is “It is what it Is.”
    Plus, it’s a good thing I’m stubborn!
    Life goes on… just at a slower pace for me.

    You’re right…. You either Laugh or Cry. And, if you cry… you usually cry alone— so let’s keep on keeping on while laughing at the absurdity of it all!

    By the way, when I get an MRI: I close my eyes, imagine I’m in a crowded club with TERRIBLE techno music— that’s how I get through it.

    Also, I’m on meds which has stopped any more lesions to appear! No new lesions was quite a celebration!

    Reply
    • Absolutely on the no new lesions part!!! Welcome Ann! Thank you for checking out the website and I’m so glad you enjoy it!!! Your comment related to me on so many levels. For example, I blame MS on EVERYTHING!! I feel like that is one perk we MS’ers should be enittled too. Also, when I was diagnosed many people said I should be angry. But I actually wasn’t angry; I was frustrated. And making fun at the frustration was healing for me. Hence, why I started using a giggle stick to beat up on MS and it does help me feel better. And your MRI visual is awesome! My very best to you and well wishes for the New Year. Thank you so much for reaching out. Also, I think you would enjoy my book, MS Madness! A “Giggle More, Cry Less” Story of Multiple Sclerosis which is about my first year with the MS monster and how a ridiculous comment about handicapped parking placards from my little brother brought on the humor. You can find it on Amazon but, while every sale of my book is great, if you don’t have the funds you can also request it from your local library. May your 2023 be filled with great health, good fun and lots and lots of giggles!

      Reply

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