Making it up as I Go

Multiple Sclerosis attempts to pretty up a bit

I am terrified of my foundation. Ahhh, dear sympathetic readers, I must be psychic as I can hear your concern across the internet.

“Yvonne must have fallen again and she is worried about her safety- that is what she means by foundation. She needs a more stable floor.”

So kind of you all but no, that is not the foundation I mean.

“Hmmm… Yvonne must be facing a moral dilemma, struggling with some principle between right and wrong. It must be serious if she’s actually terrified. I wonder what that foundation is.”

Sorry friends, that is wrong too. My actual fear is far shallower.

The foundation I am talking about is the new makeup I just bought. I have no idea what to do with it and the very tired me is overwhelmed with the thought of trying it out.

 

See, it’s been years since I’ve worn makeup with any regularity. Four to be exact, stopping a few months after MS came into my life. Basically, I was just too fatigued to care.

When your energy level is already at the bottom of the barrel, putting makeup on is just too exhausting. Taking it off again in the evening is near debilitating.

If you think I’m exaggerating then you either a. do not have MS, b. are a non cross dressing male, c. are a compulsive liar or d. are taking some really good meds.

Add to the fatigue my clumsiness and tingling fingers and cosmetics easily became one of the early casualties of my MS life. And folks wonder why I’m single.

Back in the day, I wouldn’t dream of stepping outside my front door without a little makeup on. But back then it also didn’t take much. A little blush, a little mascara and eye liner, maybe some lip gloss and out the door I would go.

 

Since I was young (or at least much, much younger) and a friend had told me I had beautiful skin, I never bothered with foundation. It seemed a waste to me and too often I would see people wearing it with crazy smudges all over their face and clothes and looking like their faces had melted.

No, foundation was not for me.

Part of being a writer is going off to various places to sell your books. It became apparent that maybe I should give makeup a try again. Not for the beauty aspect per se, as my book is about a super tired MSer so why not look like a super tired MSer when I talk about it?

The concern was the pictures that get taken. Those pictures can stick around forever! Bad enough that the camera already adds forty pounds!

And so I decided I should put on makeup the way I used to four years ago. Problem is, I guess I’ve aged a lot in those four years. Even with makeup, I still look like a zombie. And not just any old zombie, but a washed out fatigued zombie at that.

 

This realization combined with my “I can’t sleep because of my bladder so I will watch late night miracle beauty infomercials” status and combined with my “CVS messing up my online $3 rewards and giving me $5 rewards and a 20% off coupon to apologize-I love CVS” status.

So now I had pharmacy money to burn, makeup on my mind and late night commercials telling me how important a base coat was. I went to the store and stood forever in the cosmetics aisle.

So much to choose from just in foundation alone! Powder or cream? What skin tone? My skin tone is MS fatigued winter pale but they didn’t have that one. They had ivory and classic ivory. I like ivory soap but I wasn’t sure if that had anything to do with the choices.

Add coupons, sale prices and other customers trying to get around me to the mix and I panicked. I grabbed something and got out of the store. I’m not even sure if what I got is foundation.

 

It has color and is supposed to go on my face, I think, but it has two names-Age Rewind and The Lifter. What does it lift? Is it meant to lift the floor, as in that type of foundation? But then what was it doing in the makeup aisle?

I brought it home and now I don’t know what to do with it. I know most people would say I should try it out, practice a bit before I actually wear it in public. I tried that. I put some on the back of my hand and suddenly my hand looked perfect-blemish free.

Which was totally depressing as I didn’t realize that my hand had blemishes in the first place…

And now I am stuck. Testing my hand and then washing all that base coat off of the back of my hand has worn me out. I can’t imagine practicing with my whole face.

What about my neck? Do I use the stuff to hide the blemishes on my neck? What about my hands again? Won’t it look weird to have a flawless face and neck and then wrinkly blemish filled hands?

 

Oh how I wish I still had my Barbie head doll. You know the one where there was no body, just a huge Barbie head that you could put make up on and style her hair. I was remembering this toy of my childhood and stressing over my new purchase when somewhere through the MS brain fog came a reminder.

My friend is having a Mary Kay party this weekend! Mary Kay is the makeup company where they tell you all the amazing things you can do with their cosmetics and make you all gorgeous so you’ll spend a ton of money.

I don’t have a ton of money to spend and already have makeup. But if I bring lots and lots of notepaper I can get some good foundation pointers.

And maybe some hand cream….

 

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Not too late to purchase your copy of MS Madness! A “Giggle More, Cry Less” Story of Multiple Sclerosis and donate to an awesome cause! Purchase through this link below and 50% of the proceeds of the sale go to Race to Erase MS!

Race to Erase MS Online Store

 

14 thoughts on “Making it up as I Go

  1. Always giggles & so true. Susan’s right, your beautiful, so don’t get overwhelmed. I got the book yesterday & it’s full of giggles. Thanks

  2. LOL I hear you god I never ear makeup unless I am going out to something special, and when I do I feel like I have never put on makeup before… But as I will be heading back to work soon, and these dark circles under my eyes refuse to go away no matter how much sleep I manage to get it looks like I am going to have to bite the bullet and get back into the swing of things…. Back in the “old days” I used to put a little baby powder under my eyes then just put on makeup over it, but as I have (HaHa) wisdom lines not sure that will work anymore….

  3. Well I can verify that your makeup looked fine when I saw you at the book reading…. Like I said keep an eye out for that Almay true match that automatically matches your skin tone as I myself got completely overwhelmed in the makeup aisle.

  4. Hi Yvonne!! Just read this piece today and giggled quite a bit!! I too can soooo relate to this one. I quit wearing makeup about 4 yrs back due to carpal tunnel and ms. In 2013, I had surgery on both hands for the carpal tunnel. Surgery went well and hands feel great. I did go out and buy some new mascara sometime last summer. Well it is still in the package!!! Just haven’t had the……energy, drive, desire to put it on yet. One of my other problems is my vision. I wear glasses but did use high magnification mirrors. Oh the challenges we face, huh. Just cracks me up that we share some of the funniest things as MSr’s!!! Have a great day girl. 🙂

    • Thank you so much Wendy-glad it made you giggle! Sorry about the surgery but glad it went well! So for an update, it turned out the goop I bought was foundation and I did learn to put it on. When I wore it no one told me my face looked melty so I guess it went well. But taking it off was an extra 15 minutes to my already full exhausted day so I’m only putting it on again for super special occasions!!

  5. I have come to the decision that unless I am going to something formal I can’t be bothered to even attempt to apply makeup

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