The Mystery of the Mysterious Malaise

An ode to Multiple Sclerosis, Covid and Christmas

Read to the end for a thank you, a celebration, a suggestion, a condolence, and some bad Christmas jokes

Back before I was diagnosed with MS, a friend wasn’t feeling that great. When asked, she said she was suffering from a malaise.

What a perfect description, I thought. A word that fit what was going on with me. Not a flu or a simple cold, but some weird malaise of unknown origin. Turns out my malaise did have an origin and its name was multiple sclerosis, but I still appreciated the word.

Nowadays, MS throws so much at me it’s hard to know when something is a new symptom or my imagination. Add in the various symptoms/concerns/mysteries of Covid and who knows what you have when.

This sudden, partial sore throat- MS, Covid or a mystery?

Stomach all a flutter-MS, Covid, bad food choices, stress (which relates to Covid) or a mystery?

Sudden hot/cold flashes-MS, Covid, meno…..can’t bear to say the word, or a mystery?

It’s enough to make one question their sanity which can be a symptom of something else as well. MS, Covid, a new diagnosis particular to mental health, or a mysterious malaise?

How do you know, and how do you make decisions based on the unknown?

Since I was more worried about Covid, I tried to do my own self check. I took my temperature and discovered that I was in a normal range.

Phew!

I know a loss of taste is another Covid symptom and I thought I should go buy some Lucky Charms to check that sense but alas, I was able to decipher from my pretty boring, somewhat healthy cereal that I still had a sense of taste. I may not be thrilled with what I was tasting but I could taste it- does that count?

Of course, the reason it was so important to figure this out was the high contagion factor of Covid.  With this serious illness, you want to know and take every step possible to keep others safe.

I’d like to think I did ok on the safety scale. This is the scale regarding your proactive steps to avoid Covid and it ranges between “I’m never leaving my house ever again and am subsisting on stale cracker crumbs I found in the back of my pantry” to “flights are cheap now- let’s go on vacation!”

I tend to fall more towards the isolation end of the scale. I stay home for the most part, wear a mask when I do go out and haven’t eaten inside a restaurant since last March which should have helped my fitness goals.

(Did you know you can get delicious fat filled, sodium filled, tasty carb dishes from your own freezer? Sigh….)

But still, those new, unexplained symptoms remained.

I went online to sign up for one of those free Covid tests that are only free (and by free, I mean your insurance-oops- for me- the government pays for it,) if you have symptoms.  But I didn’t know if I HAD symptoms as the symptoms are so hard determine. That was what I needed the test for!

Luckily, MS was able to help me out with that.

Do you have a persistent headache?

Check!

Do you have persistent body aches?

Check!

Do you excessive fatigue?

Check, check and check again!

I passed the online test and the free not so free Covid test back in November but now I’m told that’s not always accurate. And still the weird, new sensations in my body continue.

So how do you stay safe, especially with the holidays arriving? How do you handle them? I’m single with no kids of my own, but my nephews, at 8 and 9, are on the cusp of the Christmas age.

And by cusp, I mean they fall somewhere on the scale of 100% belief that “I have to be good so the fat guy in red brings lots of fun junk” to the “I doubt he exists but I’m smart enough not to say anything in case my parents stop buying me useless junk because I no longer believe in red suit, chimney guy and his flying sleigh.”

I know this age well- I milked it until I was 15.

I even faked my way through a family friend showing up in a Santa suit when I was 12, smelling of an eggnog/whiskey combination and drinking from the same Barney Rubble jelly glass he was using when my mom served him when he first showed up as a normal guest.

Where’s Joe? He had to leave. Oh look, Santa Claus is here.

Do Santa’s elves know how to make a Walkman?  Does Mrs. Claus have an “in” with Mick Jagger so she can help Santa get the new Stones cassette before its official US release?

This mysterious malaise has me worried about the holidays, so much so that I avoided the mall and department stores. The downsizing of Christmas this year SHOULD have saved me money. BUT, it turns out, having hours to shop online, while comfy in your pj’s, does NOT limit the number of gifts you decide to give.

What to do?

I don’t know.

But I have comforted myself with inappropriate Christmas music. Really Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer family? Did you grieve at all, or did you just sing a silly song about your sudden loss, even before making funeral plans?

And I’ve also watched what I THOUGHT were innocent Christmas specials.

Side note- did you know there’s a murder at the end of Rudolph?  The obnoxious elf throws the toy bird that can’t fly from the sled and we watch in vain as he plummets to his demise.  My convictions lead me to convict the elf; I never liked his attitude anyway.

Why didn’t we realize this horror back in the seventies when the show first came out? Maybe because kids weren’t so literal and particular back then!! We all knew not all of the special was fact based. We knew that Rudolph’s nose didn’t really make that obnoxious noise when it turned on. If it did, Santa would have murdered him instead.

Is there an answer as to how to know if you have Covid and how best to safely celebrate this year? I have no idea how many free tests my insurance will cover and what the holidays will bring as I try to sort through this mysterious malaise.

What I do know is that the holidays come but once a year and though they may be much different in 2020, we all need peace, joy, belief, and magic more than ever!!

Please celebrate safely so we can do it again in 2021.

 

I’m dedicating this particular holiday blog to all of our essential, emergency, and medical workers.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Happy 200^th birthday to me!!!!

Well not exactly to me but to my blog!

Yes, this was my 200^th post.

I’d always thought that after 200 posts I should put the blog to rest so it doesn’t burn itself out like a bad TV sitcom. The problem is that MS, and all things medical, still give me a lot of material!! We shall see what the future holds. I’m just thankful to all of you for taking this ride with me and following the blog.  Not knowing how much I’ll post in the future, the best way to not miss anything is by subscribing to my website. It’s free, safe and I promise to only send you content, not chains or spam.

And no, you don’t need to give my blog a gift. Just by reading and being here is a great gift to every post.  However, should you need a last minute gift for the reader in your life who likes to giggle, MS Madness! A “Giggle More, Cry Less” Story of Multiple Sclerosis is available on Amazon.

Rest in peace David Lander, who we all remember as “Squiggy.”  You fought the good fight and fought it with laughs a plenty.  Your humor makes us smile still and for that we thank you.

 

 

Holiday Blessings to all of you and your families! I thought I would give you the gift of stolen humor this year.  Below are some silly Christmas jokes I pilfered from a local newsletter!

 

What do you call Santa when he stops moving?

Santa Pause!

 

Where do snowmen go dancing?

A snowball!

 

What kind of bug hates Christmas?

A humbug!

 

What does the gingerbread man put on his bed?

Cookie Sheets!

 

And finally,

What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?

You get tinselitus!