Shelter of the Monument

Set in Provincetown, MA from 1986-2017, Shelter of the Monument is a coming-of-age memoir that reflects on her experience with first love, loss, finding her inner voice and the man who helped her become all he knew she could be.

Synopsis

Sometimes the wrong person says the right thing, and it makes all the difference.

In this coming-of-age memoir we meet Richard, a handsome, charming, mischievous, great guy with a fondness for the 1980s party drug of choice, cocaine. Yvonne is 11 years younger, awkward, terrified of her own shadow and even more frightened by the idea of disappointing anyone in her life.

Their attraction makes no sense.

Despite obstacles beyond their control, they are exactly what each other is drawn too as they set about doing the best they can, in all four seasons of their beautiful, one season town, Provincetown, MA. Their connection remains the one thing that can save Yvonne from herself, even while Richard struggles under the weight of his own self-imposed demons.

What they develop is a relationship that unbeknownst to both of them, would last a lifetime and change Yvonne in ways she never thought possible.

They were not supposed to be together.

Yet, they refused to stay apart.

Early Reviews

Yvonne captures the buzz of young love and the lessons it teaches us. Shelter of the Monument reminds us that first loves never really leave, even if they go away. 

Courtney K. Hurst, author of My Ride. My Rules

You might think this is the stereotypical good girl falls for a bad boy kind of story, but this sensitive, true to life memoir is so much more. It’s beautiful, heart-rending and incredibly bravely told. Five stars to this one.

Bill Schweitzer, author of Doves in a Tempest-Valley of Horror

Ms. deSousa provides a perfect view of the hardscrabble life for year-round residents of the famous Provincetown community.  More importantly, she reflects and accepts a world that is seldom orderly, which allows her to confront her darkest moments with courage.  She prevails. Shelter of the Monument will stay with every reader who has “loved not wisely but too well.”

Thomas DeConna, author of the soon to be released book Accustomed to the Dark

Intertwining her coming-of-age story with the dark side of addiction, “Shelter of the Monument” perfectly illuminates the sadness, anger, hope, and affection experienced by those who watch a loved one struggle with addiction. Yvonne deSousa blends her gentle wit and compelling levity in this tale of innocence lost, never abandoning the compassion and tenderness she will always hold for her first love. Shining a light on the deep effects of addiction on those around them, Yvonne gives the reader a glimpse of a world that is sometimes dark, sometimes heartbreaking, but always filled with the unbending belief that love can fix the unfixable.

Lisa Febre, author of the soon to be released memoir Round the Twist: Facing the Abdominable

Excerpts

From the chapter titled Date–

            “Come here, I need you to help me with something,” he said, pulling me towards the bedroom. 

            I panicked. Was this it? Could I handle it? I was crazy about him and totally trusted him but was a little overwhelmed. The kissing Richard and I had done thus far was way further than I had ever been before. Still, I followed him into the bedroom. He took off his shirt and then lay on his stomach across the double bed.

            “Ok, I need you to walk on my back.”

            “What?” I wondered if this was some slang more experienced people used for sex.

            “Seriously. I pulled my back the other day and it’s killing me. Having you walk on it will feel like a massage.”

            “You know that’s weird right?”

            “Why, is there something else you want to do in here????”

            “Cute,” I said.

            “Please.”

            “I’m not on Candid Camera or anything, am I?” Sexual tension and nerves seemed to drift away when we were teasing each other.

            “Trust me.”

            I took off my shoes and socks and then climbed on the bed. I stood on his back, and using the wall for support, lightly stepped where he told me to. He said it helped and then I lay in his arms for a quite a while.

From the chapter titled Bob–

            By August, my family knew about the relationship. Richard even brought my mom lobsters from his trips every once in a while. I still did not like them or the disgusting smell they made when you boiled them, but that was ok too. He would drop them off just before one of our dates and my mom would cook them while I was gone. She liked Richard, but she still did not approve. She chose not to say much about it.

            The boat he fished on was a distinct steel western-rigged dragger with a high bow. It would often be coming in from a trip as I finished my day shift at work. As I walked home, I would catch glimpses of it making its way back to the pier when the pathways between shop buildings offered up a precious harbor view. I knew that soon he would get a ride to Tanya’s, clean up and then call me. I told my grandmother how romantic it was, seeing his boat round the point as the sun was starting to get lower in the sky. She became very upset. It was the only time she ever yelled at me.

“Romantic! It’s not romantic at all! There’s no romance when the boat is late, and no one can raise it on the radio or has seen it in days. Or when the boat is only catching bottom feeders and you’re feeding your family trash fish for days on end. Or when there’s no fish at all. How about when it’s war time and on top of everything else you have to worry about German submarines out there. Don’t tell me seeing a boat rounding the point is romantic! That’s just foolishness!”

            I was humbled by her words and reminded of why, in the old photos in her albums, all the men are seen smiling on their boats while the women look forlorn and do not smile at all.

From the chapter titled Clothes-

            Getting dressed upstairs I put on a new blouse I had bought with Christmas money, just for this night. It was pink with flowers, hung below the waist and had ruffles at the bottom. I thought the print was beautiful and that it made me look fantastic. But as I walked down the spiral staircase Richard’s face scrunched up.

“What are you wearing?”

“My new blouse. Why, what’s wrong? Don’t you like it?” I asked.

“It’s not my favorite shirt of yours. You’re so pretty and have so many pretty things but that doesn’t do much for you,” he said.

            I was annoyed. He was just a guy, what did he know?  I felt insulted but loved my top and was going to wear it. As we gathered our coats, I hesitated.  “What, exactly, don’t you like about it?” I questioned.

“The flower pattern is old lady like, and the ruffles are childish and ridiculous. The color isn’t the best I’ve seen you in either. It also doesn’t flatter your figure and it makes you look like a grandma on top and like a little girl on the bottom.”

            My honest Richard.  

“Well, I don’t have a ton of clothes you know,” I told him. “There’s not much to choose from.”

“I bet you that in one minute I can find you something that looks gorgeous and will be way, way better than that.” 

            I took him up on his challenge and before I knew it, I was wearing something totally different from what I had planned. Walking into Laurie’s apartment to wish her, Andy and Drew a Happy New Year, my sister complemented me on my outfit. Instead of smirking, Richard said, “yes, doesn’t she look great?”

“Richard made me change,” I sulked. 

“I did not!” he replied. “I just told her I thought I could find her something better than what she was wearing.”

“Well, what were you wearing before?” Laurie asked.

“The flowery shirt I bought at Bradlees last week, the day we went to do laundry.”

“Seriously, you were going to wear that out? That ugly, old lady thing?  I thought you bought that to wear around the house, as a nightgown even.”

            Now Richard smirked. Apparently, in addition to many other wonderful things, he also had good fashion sense.

Images of Provincetown, MA