Rock and an MS Hard Place

Multiple Sclerosis goes classic

I am a child of classic rock.

Well, actually, that’s not really true.

It would be true if I was Jade Jagger, Kelly Osbourne, or Liv Tyler.

I’m really the daughter of a Portuguese dad who wanted to be Elvis, and a mom who liked music from foreign men whose lyrics she didn’t even understand- think Julio Iglesias, Placido Domingo and Luciano Pavarotti.

My dad wanted to be Elvis so much that he named me after Elvis’ famous daughter, Lisa Marie Presley.  It didn’t really make sense to me since the only way that could be true was based on my middle name Marie being the same as Lisa’s, but which also happened to be the same middle name of about 98% of females of Portuguese descent.

Anyway, I majorly digress.  Where I’m going with this is that despite my musical upbringing, for good or bad, when multiple sclerosis gets really horrible, classic rock music comforts me.

Hey, you have your thing, I have mine..

It comforts me so much, that it’s way up there on the list of things that I find comforting.  The list goes something like this- God, humor, classic rock and the Boston Bruins.

Oh yes, family, friends and drugs are on the list too but all of them are getting annoyed with me writing about them.

And I’ve learned that it’s not just the hard hitting drumming, the amazing guitar solos and booming bass that bring comfort and help to induce some much needed energy.  (Insert scary image here of me trying to dance around my apartment while a good radio station plays in the background.)

But, I have begun to realize that even in unobvious ways, the lyrics are a huge help too.

As Keith Richards always says, a man with three daughters by the way, the meanings behind many of his lyrics are hard to understand but the emotions they invoke are not. But me, I think I have discovered the meanings of some classic rock classics and can explain their multiple sclerosis connection.

Don’t believe me?  Well, I can prove it. Here are some of my favorites-

I’ve been bit and I’ve been tossed around

By every she-rat in this town

Monkey Man by the Rolling Stones.

This one has a double meaning for me as “she-rat” refers to MS drugs made from Chinese hamster ovary cells (which definitely bite) and by the fact that I was such an ugly baby my sisters told me I was adopted from a monkey family.

The Stones are actually very concerned about people with MS.   “I’ve been soaking up drink like a sponge,” is a line from their song, Dear Doctor.  I’m sure the drink they are talking about is H20.  What else could it be?  In the title alone, it is a medical song.  Who can say that the doctor they are talking about is not a neurologist?

For more on Rolling Stones songs with MS themes, check out my prior post Like an MS Rolling Stone.

Ain’t it funny how a crowd gathers around anyone living life without a net       Dogs on the Run by Tom Petty

This song refers to people noticing those of us with balance issues trying to survive an icy sidewalk.

I’m going off the rails on a crazy train- Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne

Does this one really need further explanation?

Hot legs, wearing me out.

Hot legs, you can scream and shout 

Hot Legs by Rod Stewart

What could Rod possibly be talking about other than painful and temperature sensitive extremities?  I know he wasn’t meaning this in a sexual way as this was one of my first nephew’s favorite songs when he was only five.

Still not convinced?  Later in the song Rod talks about needing a shot of vitamin E which is used to strengthen weak cells.

Ha! Try defeating THAT argument!

Lay lady lay, lay across my big brass bed   Lay Lady Lay by Bob Dylan

Thank you Bob. I am so freaking tired and a rest would be awesome

Though nothing will drive them away

We can beat them, just for one day  

Heroes by David Bowie

It seems to me that Mr. Bowie is referring to some of our worst MS symptoms.  They aren’t going anywhere any time soon.  But as long as we are not in an exacerbation, we may be able to beat them. At least, just for one day.  And calling us Heroes?  Thank you!  I think we MS’ers are heroes too!

And for those of you who think real classic rock only belongs to men, allow me to add I’ll Stand By You by the Pretenders, lead singer Chrissie Hynde.  To that song I say, “You’ll stand by me?  Thank goodness. Someone needs to. I could fall over at any time…”

One way or another, I’m gonna find ya

I’m gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha

I’m gonna win ya…  

One Way or Another by Blondie

I do not think it a stretch to assume that what Deborah Harry was looking for was a cure.

I could go on and on with more from both male and female rockers but that would involve pulling out all of my old albums and cassettes and spending hours and days in a joyful celebration of great music.  (If you don’t know what an album is than this blog is DEFINITELY not for you!)

While I would enjoy doing that, I think I have clearly made my point.  And now it is time to rest.  Oh yeah, I forget, rest also goes on the list of what comforts me when MS hits.

Speaking of hits, hey MS, Hit me with Your Best Shot, Pat Benetar style.

You tough cookie you…

Image of guitar boy courtesy of AKARAKINGDOMS at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image of Elvis dude courtesy of iosphere at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image of headphone girl courtesy of iosphere at FreeDigitalPhotos,net

Radio image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalphotos.net

Images of the classic rocks stars I used in the blog I totally stole from internet profiles.  I’m hoping that because I love them so they won’t sue me….