Produce and Junk

Multiple Sclerosis and veggies continue to battle

 

If you were an earlier follower of my blog you may be familiar with my complete dislike, distrust and disuse of vegetables.  Technically, I know they’re important.  And so, little by little, baby step by baby step, I’ve been working on developing a better relationship with them.  It’s taking years but I’m getting there. I’ve even developed a list of veggies that don’t totally suck-

Potatoes

Yucca (See how hard I’m trying-I bet you didn’t even know there was such a thing as yucca!)

Peas

Asparagus

Lettuce

Kale (Especially in a nice hearty Portuguese soup- see my prior posts- Kale, the New Frontier and Portuguese Soup with an MS Twist)

Spinach (when used as lettuce or mixed with pasta only- the whole gobbling up a full can was only something Popeye could appreciate.)

Tomatoes

Onions

Garlic

Leeks

Olives  (I’m not sure that olives are a vegetable but since I don’t know what the heck they are I’m putting them here.  I’ll take all the veggie credit I can get.)

Squash (Butternut AND Summer)

Sweet Potatoes

Zucchini

Then there’s the completely inedible vegetable list which includes broccoli and mushrooms.

I’m not sure that mushrooms are vegetables either.  What they are is fungus.  Seriously?  That’s disgusting.

I tell you the above to prove that I’m trying.   A friend recently told me that some grocery stores will actually take veggies and turn them into healthy spaghetti.  I LOVE spaghetti and actually tried the squash version- not too horrific.  I’m trying the zucchini version next.  And I might even try cauliflower rice.

Why should you care about any of this?   Why should I expect you to keep reading my boring produce list?

Because MS keeps messing me up when it comes to produce!

An unfortunate multiple sclerosis reality-if you have MS, you should eat a lot of vegetables.  But if you live alone, and have lost some dexterity in your hands, vegetables are freaking dangerous!  I just can’t cut the little suckers.

So I was thrilled when I saw a commercial for a product called a salad bowl cutter.  It’s this simple thing that allows you to cut, wash and eat vegetables safely and easily.  I figured this was the answer. Oh the fancy and healthy meals I would make once this was in my possession.

 

I added the $10.45 to my credit card and waited three weeks for this miracle worker to arrive in the mail.

And it did.

And it’s a total, ridiculous piece of junk.

First, it arrived with lousy packing that left the box demolished and totally unusuable to return without spending more money on a decent box.

The big problem?  Oh, it might do what it’s supposed to.  You probably can safely cut, wash and eat the vegetables in this device.

The problem is in order to use it safely you need to lock the top and the bottom pieces with a simple turn and lock motion.  Similar to how you open pill bottles which I have completely mastered.

This, however was impossible.

I’ve yet to be able to use the salad bowl cutter because I as checking it out, I locked the thing and it’s still freaking locked!

If my hands are too feeble to slice and dice veggies they are certainly to weak to unlock the plastic vault that is this useless piece of plastic.

I live in a small apartment building so I could probably knock on a neighbor’s door and ask them to try to unlock the salad bowl cutter.  But what about when I want to use the thing?  Should I knock on doors after I’ve cut and washed my salad and other produce and then hope people are home and ask them to help?

Do I want to be THAT neighbor?

I already have to bug them to put my ac in the window each spring.

You might think that this blog post really belongs on a product review website and you may be right.

But, I put it here to show one of the aspects of MS that people don’t think about and that causes incredible frustration.  Using a product like this should be simple.  Who would think it required any skill, especially if you are buying it to avoid another skill you may not have- professional knife juggler.

This little item should have been a problem solver.  Instead, for me and my MS it is a problem maker.  I now have this locked piece of junk sitting in my kitchen and no easy means to return it making me out a whole precious $10.45.

That may not sound like a lot but with MS budget issues that’s almost three whole RX copays.

I could call the company and yell at them but that sounds useless and exhausting. Plus, I can’t find a phone number anywhere!!

And so it comes around to the original veggie issue.  Just like it’s difficult for me to chop veggies it’s also difficult to open cans, even with the fanciest of can openers, manual and electric.  So I’m back to using frozen which means limiting options.

Thankfully french fries come frozen.

Are the problems that come from preparing vegetables and purchasing supposedly helpful pieces of plastic that are pure junk a huge problem when it comes to living with MS?

No.

Are they another unusual and frustratingly ridiculous part of living with MS that no one can really predict and can make someone like me outright crazy?

I’ll let you decide…..

PS   There is a slight possibility that I accidentally bought the generic version of this item which brings up another MS frustration- making cognitive mistakes that you are not able to easily correct.  But that’s a whole other blog.  Specifically- MS Moments Not So Magical

Note #1

Friends, I know you have your own chronic illness humor stories. And always in need of a giggle, I and my readers would love to hear them!!   Please share on the new Giggles page of my website.  Then please visit to read giggles from others as well.  Any chronic illness humor story will do as long as it is at least a tiny bit funny and PG.  

Note #2

Off to the 2017 HealtheVoices Conference in Chicago soon! Cannot wait to share my windy city adventures and really looking forward to making my website a better experience for all of you!  Stay tuned!!

Thank you Janssen for covering my travel expenses to attend!   #HealtheVoices2017

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