Only in the Middle of the Night

MS meets EMS and it ain’t Pretty

Have you ever wondered how you would handle an emergency?

 

I have.

Fortunately, I haven’t had too many experiences to know for sure.  One time, I thought I’d lost my 4 year old nephew in my own yard and I screamed his name over and over for 3 seconds until he appeared before me.

See?  Perfectly calm.

Multiple Sclerosis changes things and I wondered too if it has affected my emergency response abilities.

One time, I looked out my window and saw my apartment building’s caretaker lying face down on the ground on a brisk November day. Odd.  So I continued to watch and he continued to not move.  It was much more than a few seconds when I thought I should go check on him.  I put on shoes and a coat and a hat in case it was cold and headed out the door.

Then I thought I should have my phone with me in case I needed to call 9-1-1.  I went back inside, grabbed my phone, noticed a missed call I hadn’t seen before, checked who the call was from, remembered the care taker and looked out only to see him getting up on his own.  He didn’t seem shaky and so I returned the call and watched him.

He was fine.

I was curious as hell as to why he was lying face down on the ground but didn’t want him to think I was nosy.

I want to be prepared in an emergency.  I’ve taken several CPR classes and have passed each one,  miraculously.

In one class post MS I unfortunately killed the male dummy.

I did the compressions fine but when it was time to do the rescue breaths I needed to balance myself.  I rested my right arm on his neck and balanced my weight while trying to save him. Turns out that is not the right thing to do.

Who knew?

For the record, I was doing a lot of childcare at the time and I completely aced the infant and children portion of the class.  So if I was babysitting your kids please know they would be safe.

You, not so much.

Anyway, emergency preparedness came up again recently.  Around 1 AM one night, as I was just shutting off my light to go to sleep, my fire alarm went off.  (Please don’t ask why I stay up so late as I haven’t been able to figure it out.  Just like I’m still trying to figure out why sometimes I don’t roll out of bed until almost 11 in the morning.  It’s quite the mystery but a mystery for another time.)

I did what I was supposed to-I got out of bed.

I looked for fire- nothing.

I sniffed around for smoke- also nothing.

The alarm stopped.  I was really tired and so, I went back to bed.

A couple of weeks later, I decided to go to bed early, midnight or there abouts.  I was asleep at approximately one when the alarm went off again.  Same time, same place.

I searched.

I sniffed.

No fire or smoke,  But the damn thing kept sounding so how was I supposed to sleep with that?

I called the fire department and as I was speaking to the dispatcher, the alarm stopped.  I said, “Ok thanks, I’m good.  Good Night.”

The dispatcher wouldn’t let me hang up.  He asked if the alarm monitors carbon monoxide.  How was I supposed to know? Damn, I’d almost been able to go back to bed.

He insisted on sending somebody to check it out and, just to be  safe, I should wait for them outside.

Really?

It was 1 AM.  Sigh….

I did what he told me though I stayed close to my front door so I could have the outside light for protection.

Of course, while I waited I heard rustling in the bushes to my left.  Halloween was soon so spooky thoughts invaded my brain.  I told myself I was being ridiculous. What were the chances that a serial killer happened to be outside my apartment the night my fire alarm went off?

The rustling showed itself and came over to check me out.  And it was a skunk.  I wanted to run back inside but I thought of my friend AnnMarie and her husband Marcus, who is a firefighter/EMT.  I knew he would want me to follow the dispatchers directions.

(Not like AnnMarie always did.  One time we were at a Portuguese restaurant when the smoke alarm went off and we kept eating our dinners as did the other patrons.  She remarked how horrified Marcus would be.  But seriously, who can abandon Portuguese food?  We kept nibbling linguica as a waitress waved a dish towel at the alarm to shut it off.)

So there we were- me completely still in my PJ’s in the middle of the night, hanging outside with Mr. Skunk, terrified that when the fire truck got there the siren would scare him into spraying me. How would I ever get back to sleep then?

But, he quickly grew bored and scampered off.

Just like many of my dates.

The truck arrived with no sirens.  As the two firefighters came into my apartment, complete with two carbon monoxide detectors, they said this could happen sometimes as dust can get into the alarm.

Dust.

What dust?

I’m a germaphobe who takes pride in a clean home.  There was no dust.

Then he asked if I had been cooking anything. Please.  I barely cook during the day, I was certainly not going to start cooking in the middle of the night.

Next, how about cleaning? They thought they smelled disinfectant.

Now that was more likely. I could definitely see myself cleaning at 1 AM.  I hadn’t been though but was pleased they thought my house smelled nice.

Then they told me sometimes spiders can get into the alarm.

What?

I do not like bugs in my house.  If bugs want to hang out in my house they should help with the rent.

Luckily, the portable detectors didn’t show any danger in the air.  One fireman asked for a step stool to reach the actual unit.  And then he found the culprit.  Apparently, up on the ceiling and close to the alarm, was a mix of spider webs and dust- horrors!!

To me, that was the actual emergency.

How did I handle it?   I handed a feather duster to the fireman and asked him to fix the problem.

(Turns out I do clean in the middle of the night. Or, should I say, I direct firemen to clean in the middle of the night.  “Kind sir, please don’t forget the corners.”

When he was done they pronounced my apartment safe but said I should call maintenance in the morning to check the detector again.

“You mean, for more cleaning?”  I asked.  “Do they do that?”

The moral of the story is, Marcus, the local fire department and you, my readers and friends, can rest assured. I CAN handle emergencies.

As long as I have a feather duster.

(FYI  While this is a 99.9% true story, please remember that it is also tongue and cheek, meaning that I do take emergencies seriously and I don’t want to ever minimize the hard work of emergency personnel.

Thank you to all of them- you folks completely rock! 

And as Thanksgiving approaches, thank you to all of you as well.)