No Spring for You!

A multiple sclerosis weather report

Harvey Leonard majorly annoyed me yesterday.

What, you don’t know who Harvey Leonard is? He is the Boston area’s head honcho in the meteorology world. He’s been at it for over thirty years, cutting his teeth as a somewhat newbie during the infamous Blizzard of 78.

What, you’ve never heard of the Blizzard of 78? It was the weather event of the millennium. You can’t call yourself a true New Englander unless you have a Blizzard of 78 story. I was nine. My story featured me panicking about a giant tidal wave wiping out my town. The snow was nothing, just an excuse to miss school for a bit.

 

Anyway, I was watching Harvey yesterday when he said something that really made me mad. I was so furious that I actually wrote it down. And then I accidentally threw the piece of paper away. But he said something kind of like this, “you’ll definitely need a coat today and no one is happy about that.”

How does he know? He doesn’t speak for me. Perhaps I AM happy about it Mr. Leonard, thank you very much.

 

You may know your weather, getting your reports accurate about 35% of the time as opposed to the 32% accuracy rating of your fellow weathermen,-statistics courtesy of yvonnedesousa.com which means they are totally made up- but I doubt you know what is in the mind of the entire population of Massachusetts. Most of the time I don’t even know what’s in my own mind, so how can you?

As many of you know from some of my past blogs, thinking especially of Chop Their Happy Little Heads Off, I do not like spring. Spring is the least favorite of my seasons.

And may I remind you that I have not once complained about what many seem to think was a treacherous winter.

 

I have not complained about the cold, the rain, the snow, or the wind.

I have not once complained about the several predicted storms we heard about whether or not they actually showed up.

Going back to last October, I did not complain about how dark it gets so early following Daylight Savings Time.

I DID complain about how confusing Daylight Savings Time is in my post Falling Backwards but that was a complaint about math, not the onslaught of winter or the cold or the dark.

 

I am an autumn/winter person and thus was happy when the Farmer’s Almanac talked about a long winter and was even happier when their predictions came true- take that Mr. Leonard!

By not complaining about any of that I respectfully reserve the right to complain about my least favorite season spring, and my second to least favorite season summer. Let’s begin now shall we? Except the irony of all of this is that we who live in the northeast part of the country don’t even have a spring!

No matter what the calendar claims on March 20th, spring does not exist in our world. Oh, we try to pretend it does. We bring out flip flops and line up for Ben and Jerry’s free cone day, snowflakes falling on our Phish Food like nature’s very own sprinkles.

We tell the world that we are turning the heat off for good only to creep out of our beds at 2AM trying to use our frozen fingers to crank the thermostat.

 

And some of the crazy among us take selfies by the annoying daffodils spreading through a blanket of snow. But let’s face it, we’re cold.

And we’re cold every year. And it rains, a lot. And we walk through these days covered in pollen and talking about how soon spring really will be here. And it never arrives. And we’re surprised.

Then one day we wake up and there are no more school buses blocking traffic and suddenly there is a heat wave and the Fourth of July is in three days. Yes, spring does not show up.

So how can someone like me, with weird temperature sensitivities likely due to multiple sclerosis dread spring when it never even appears in my area anyway?

Because the world around me insists on celebrating spring and acting like it is with us all the time.

The bugs still show up.

The allergies still kick in even on the chilliest of days.

You fall into the mindset of those around you and put on a light jacket and freeze as you do your errands, eagerly anticipating going home and burring yourself under your super warm thermal Bruins blankie.

 

(Slight shout out to the Bears of Boston- this time of year does bring the NHL playoffs on which the Bruins are splendidly skating their way through!)

And here is a complaint I only recently came up with- since everyone likes to pretend spring has sprung suddenly all you hears is super obnoxious home repair noises.

Yes my friends, in addition to my weird temperature sensitivities, MS also gives me weird ear noises that are greatly increased by the sounds of construction, street sweeping and landscaping.

Funny how I’m not troubled by snow plow sounds. But the hammering and motoring sounds of seasonal neighborhoods coming alive make me want to grab some ear plugs, build a blankie fort and live under it forever.

So yes, I admit it. I do not like spring, even when it doesn’t exist. I didn’t mind the ten inches of snow that arrived on March 26th. I don’t mind that my landlord keeps putting my snow shovel in the basement and twice I have had to go back down to grab it.

 

What I did mind was being afraid for my safety when people around me lamented about the horrible winter and expected me to agree. For fear of being attacked, I kept my anti-spring thoughts to myself, smiling as if I agreed while I tucked my hands deeper into my warm mittens.

I do mind that Harvey Leonard, who I used to think was pretty smart, thinks I mind needing to wear a coat today. I don’t.

And while those around me think I’m a fool in my heavy coat and insulated socks, my feet aren’t turning blue from the sandals you should not be wearing yet.

So, to Mr. Leonard and all those who think everyone agrees with them about being ready for spring, my MS challenged brain knows something that you don’t.

This is New England and that means, no spring for you!

Note- you also can’t call yourself a true New Englander if you don’t make complaining about the weather a habit, whatever the weather might be. This blog is all about finding humor to deal and thus I adopt a tongue in cheek style. However, please know that minor complaints about the weather are not meant to disparage in any way the people facing the devastating tornadoes in our country.

My deepest prayers and well wishes are being sent their way…