The newest multiple sclerosis symptom
No friends, this is not a blog about lame 80’s music. And I am sorry if that song is now stuck in your head. Actually, that is a lie. Misery loves company and since it is stuck in my head, it might as well be stuck in yours too.
This is a blog describing how MS has turned me into a liar. Just when I thought MS symptoms couldn’t get any stranger, I started lying all over the place.
Often the more you talk, the more likely it is you might lie whether you mean to or not. And unfortunately for me, I am an extreme talker. This is not necessarily an MS symptom. I was just born this way.
As a baby, my parents actually took me to a pediatrician as I NEVER cried and they thought that was weird. When I would wake in the morning, instead of crying for attention, I would talk away.
“Bah blah, goo goo bah bah, mme bbee bee nah, fro bah bah bah, goo mim ma me nah nah bah.”
This basically translated to, “hello, big people, I’m up and starving. Can I have fruit loops like my sisters instead of a boring bottle? Oh, and you won’t believe what’s in this diaper! Big people, hello? Where are you?”
As I aged, the nonstop talking continued. Even so, I tried to be an honest person. There was an occasional little fib here and there to spare hurt feelings. But usually I was smart enough to spare feelings in a way without lying.
“It’s not that that skirt looks bad exactly. It’s just that I think you can find something far more flattering than a size 2 on your lovely and voluptuous size 10 frame.”
But the older I got, (and now I know as I aged MS was starting to creep around my brain), keeping an ‘honesty is the best policy’ mindset became harder to maintain.
Coincidence? I think not.
If someone told me something was a secret, you couldn’t waterboard it out of me no matter how hard you tried. But if you didn’t specifically use the word “secret,” I was an open book. My filter was gone and I lost the ability to think through what to say when, while I was talking nonstop.
This mostly involved covering up other people’s little fibs.
Person A “I told Person B such and such so as not to hurt her feelings.”
Person B “did you know that Person A thinks I am fantastic? What did he tell you about how fantastic I am?”
Or there was this example. Person A would tell me something. I would tell Person B. Person A would flip out that Person B knew what I knew and would ask me did I tell Person B?
“Ahhh, I don’t think so, I’m not sure.”
Or Person A would tell me something and then Person B would ask me what Person A said. I would get confused- should I sugarcoat Person A’s words? How do I do that?
It became really traumatic and so I would end up saying, “Person A- Oh no, they didn’t tell me anything. Who is person A again?”
Allow me to state again that MS has destroyed any filter I may have. Don’t tell me anything you don’t want me to repeat. Trying to remember what not to say when just adds more stress to my already stressful day. Cognitive difficulties lead to my needing to lie. I don’t know anything.
The lying increased with the “how are you questions.” If I answered truthfully, perfectly healthy people would respond, “I know what you mean, I get that all the time.”
Or, with something like, “I know you say you don’t feel well, but you look fantastic,” which pretty much says to me that they think I am lying anyway and then I was even more confused.
I started just answering “I’m hanging in” which must be a total lie as I don’t even know what that means.
Then there are the other little lies I have noticed MS making.
The drug company, “are you ready for a refill of your injections?”
“Oh yes please, I can’t wait.”
Your friend, “that won’t be too much for you, will it?”
“Of course not.” Lies, lies, lies, yeah….
Your doctor, “are you maintaining a healthy diet?”
“Absolutely.” Not exactly a lie if you put a tomato on your double cheeseburger.
The cool, casual acquaintance, “you look beat- you must have had an exciting night.”
“I did! It was a blast!”
And by exciting I mean I didn’t fall asleep until the very last commercial of the show I was watching. To me, that is exciting.
Little by little I was telling more and more lies and I only recently discovered this fact.
It has been a hot, humid, crazy, stressful month and I didn’t have any ideas for a new blog. I decided I would just post an old blog for this week.
And then I remembered that last week I had promised my readers a brand new blog. Reposting something old meant that I was lying to my beloved readers.
The very idea caused me to stress. I analyzed lying as a whole. I became increasingly fatigued. I couldn’t stop thinking about lying.
The lame Thompson Twins song (there were three of them by the way- twins was a total lie) came into my head. I started writing to try to get it out. And before I knew it, I had a new blog. So there you go.
Sometimes multiple sclerosis has a way of working itself out.
Of course that is a total lie but what would this blog post be without one or two?
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Can any of us be THAT honest?? I doubt it. But I am so miserable, I am brutally honest. LOL I feel bad for you. I don’t have MS and this summer has sucked between the humidity, lack of money and eviction. (Court Thursday. Can’t wait!) LIE!!!! Dreading it. 🙁 You are such a good person. You complain less than me. I should be grateful………………..blah blah blah! LOL I enjoy your blogs. They give Friday a reason and worth. People say “It’s Friday”!!!! I think “Yah great, that means more tourists”! Sorry I’m such a Debbie Downer.
Thank you so much for all of your support Nichole. And I agree that thus has been a dreadful summer. I had a crazy month expected between mid June and mid July. And THEN the heat and humidity struck and THEN I got my own super lousy rental news, both right in the middle of the crazy month. It just bites. I write in order to feel like I am beating up on the stress in some minor way. I hope I am able to add a giggle to your Friday at least. Good luck next week. I remember when this process started. It seems like it went awfully fast…
Loved It! Best Blog yet! and I totally get it. Besides the fact that I am well known for my verbal diarrhea 🙂 I lie ALL the time, non-stop. And the sad thing is, I am so totally aware that I am lying to people. And that they do not get it. To the question I get non-stop, even from my husband, “how are you today?”, my standard answer currently is: ” I am upright/vertical” . Sometimes I tack on “and that is a good thing…… Leann
Thank you so much Leann! Glad you liked it so much. Most of the time I am too confused to know if I am lying or not. And I hope you don’t mind if I steal/borrow that line????
Made me giggle as always! I do it too, lol. I agree with you, it is a untold symptom of MS. The description should include “do not lie though when fatigued to prevent looking like a STUPID LIAR”! I’ve looked like that I’m sure many of times. Have a great weekend and stay cool!!!
Right- why don’t the prescription paperwork that comes with the drugs give real side effects? Actually, maybe they do. I have just never read them! I can relate to looking like a stupid liar too.
Great blog! Loved it! You’re lying is like me tunning out when people talk. It’s so hard not too. I had to practice the art to look interested. I’m an 80’s girl too!
Thank you so much Olivia! And I tune out too…. I blame that on the brain fog- at least it works for me and keeps me from saying to people that they are boring. See, another MS lie!
Wendy,
I think I have been a stupid looking liar a few times myself. Occassionally it gets so bad, I do look like a truck dragged me down the street. I think I am so programmed, I still say I am fine/okay/great/groovy/fabulous.
And Yvonne, please borrow 🙂
I must always look like crap! Lol! No one ever tells me I look “Fantastic” 😉
I’m sort of the opposite with the lying thing, I don’t. I have become brutally honest, I don’t purposely try to hurt peoples feelings but I’m sure I do. I have to really concentrate not to let things just fly out of my mouth! Oops, Did I say that!?!
Thank you Vanessa. I have officially told people that I no longer have any control over what comes out of my mouth due to MS- lies, no lies, cognitive weirdness, or even food itself!
Needed that laugh after LYING again yesterday for no reason. So SORRY Hubby 🙁
Very good yvonne…. I mean it, um I think!!
Dear Readers Jill is lying- I paid her to say that!
I found your blog b/c I liked your comment on My Odd Sock about the cool vest making you look like a suicide bomber. I was strapping mine on outside a festival a few weekends ago and got several alarmed looks. It was mortifying. Anyway, thanks for the giggle! Oh, I’m a BIG lame 80s music fan. No lie. 🙂
Thank you so much Ms. CrankyPants! Not only for visiting my blog but for reminding me that while I am sitting here miserable in the heat, my cooling vest is just hanging out by itself begging to be worn. The bomber thing was the first thing I thought of when I put mine on for the first time- just crazy! I have seen your comments on My Odd Sock’s site but my MS brain fog did not realize that you have a blog of your own. I will check it out…
Dear Ms. Cranky Pants- I hope you see this. I checked out your blog and I loved it! I think you and I are kindred spirits. I signed up to follow you and will list your blog on my links page. I encourage my readers to check you out-as long as they don’t like Ms. Cranky Pants better than me- hahaha! I tried to comment on your blog but I am a total technological idiot and am never able to comment on BlogSpot blogs. I never know which ID to use and each one I try blogspot tells me is wrong. But I will follow you in silence…
I was diagnosed with MS almost 3 years ago. How did you find that this is a symptom?
Not sure I understand your question my friend but I’m very sorry to learn of your diagnosis. My very best to you.
How did you find out that lying is a symptom of MS?
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I was totally feeling MS had something to do with my lying even though my husband kept saying “that is not MS it’s BS! Then I found out I have no filter too and it all started to make sense ! Thanks for your confirmation💜
Lol Crystal!!! So glad I could help and be of service! Hopefully you can get your husband to read my take on MS “honesty.” And thank you for checking out my site. Hope to see you here again soon!
This post made me cry. I have just had a huge argument with my husband who has MS. We work together and I have been trying to organise our clients for next week -who when where and he has contradicted himself so many times I just don’t even know what to say to any of them. Does anyone have any tips for coping? Anything I can do to help? x
Thank you for reading and reaching out Robyn. I really appreciate it. Thank you too for inquiring how you can help. I know it can’t be easy. I don’t think there is a specific answer but I know patience, which you clearly have, a sense of humor, and wanting to be there for your husband are HUGE. My most recent blog, No Execs Here, might help you understand what he is going through a bit more, told with my humor bent. Mostly, I guess I would say to ask him what he needs. Kind honesty is important and I think it’s ok to point out what struggles you are witnessing and ask him how the both of you can sort it out. I think you are half way there as you want to help and are asking, not assuming like a lot of folks without MS do. Wishing you and your husband the very best.