A Batter World

A new and improved food group for MS’ers

 

Warning-today’s blog is not for the gullible, children, or the faint of heart.

My sister Laurie insisted that I list this cautionary note here as she believes this blog could be imparting dangerous information. She also insisted that I note that I am not a doctor or a nutritionist. While we are at it, I should also mention that I am not a scientist nor, for that matter, much of a cook.

Hey, batter batter, SWING, batter batter….

And by batter batter I don’t mean baseball, which is just not my thing.

 

Bring on hockey with all the excitement and fast moving action! And, in hockey, if any of the players decide to spit, it will likely be blood and teeth instead of tobacco- less disgusting…

This summer was a long, tough one to be sure. But while I was suffering through it, I made a new discovery. I found an awesome new step on the food pyramid. The saying for the batter I am talking about goes Hey, batter batter, STIR, batter batter….

 

You guessed it; cookie dough is the new super food and as such, rightfully deserves its own spot on the recommended daily allowance list.

Before you scoff, hear me out.

It is made from wholesome things-eggs, sugar, flour, vanilla, butter, salt, chocolate chips…All natural ingredients- no chemicals. Some people add raisins to the batter to make it healthier although I don’t recommend that. Being a Cape Cod girl, I won’t object to cranberries. And I guess oats are ok…

Cookie dough is versatile. In the summer, you can add it to ice cream which has even more natural ingredients and makes it even more cooling and refreshing than your cooling vest.

 

In the warmer months you can bake it which warms you up and makes your home smell lovely, yet an additional mood enhancer.

You can eat it raw or once cooked, you can eat it hot or cold.

You can consume it whether you are a baker or not.

You can buy it already made for you or make your own.

Here is where Laurie’s objection comes in. It says on the packaged cookie dough tubes that you should not eat it raw. I believe this is a major corporate lie. Perhaps the cookie manufacturers are in cahoots with the stove manufacturers and the gas and electric companies.

The reason they claim you should not do this, is because it is dangerous to eat uncooked eggs and if the batter isn’t cooked, then the eggs aren’t either. But I used to have a gym teacher who claimed he started his day by cracking six eggs in a big glass and then drinking it down in one gulp. And he is alive and well.

At least, I think so….

 

Also, I have a super smart cousin who just got a Doctorate degree in something so smart I can’t even remember what it is. She eats raw cookie dough. One time she got super sick after eating a lot of it but after consulting with me and doing her own research, we discovered that it was actually the stress of writing her dissertation that made her sick. The raw batter was completely innocent…

If raw fish is a delicacy, then raw batter is a necessity.

My major, problematic MS symptoms lately have been temperature sensitivities, fatigue and killer mood swings. This long, tough summer showed me the benefits of this latest super food in coping with these symptoms.

You are supposed to eat healthy to feel good. Well, I’m sorry but right or wrong, cookie dough makes you feel good instantaneously. There is no long drawn out waiting process as the nutrients get absorbed into your blood stream and start doing the things that they are supposed to do.

Take that acacia berry, pomegranate and kale!

 

Plus, cookies go great with milk giving you even more nutrients! They go so well with milk that Ben & Jerry’s even made a new flavor giving you the milk and cookie benefits all in one easy ice cold pint.

When after eating too much dough you start to feel a little sluggish all you have to do is ingest more- simple.

There are multiple examples of this- I know, I have been looking.

On the sitcom The Middle, when Frankie Hect has to break some bad news to her daughter Sue, she brings some cookie dough with her to start the talk off on a good note.

 

Throughout the beginning of time, moms would let their kids lick batter off the beaters to give the children a little lift. If the mom’s were super cautious, they would turn the beaters off first.

Cookie Monster is absolutely a gentle giant when he gets cookies into him. Hello, where do you think cookies come from?

 

If all of this evidence isn’t enough for you then take my ultimate argument- the Pillsbury Doughboy the child who lives, functions, and exists, entirely on dough.

You never see him eating his vegetables or making sure his grains are whole.

His weight stays steady.

 

And he always bounces back from violence. He has been assaulted on a daily basis and he never bruises, falls down or complains. Usually, he just giggles.

How can you possibly negate this positive role of dough in a daily diet when you witness the durability of the Pillsbury Doughboy?

You may think me ridiculous but allow me to remind you; the people in the know used to think that red wine was for drunks and pot was for druggies. Now doctors recommend them for medical reasons! So why not cookie dough?

I am not necessarily wise enough or brave enough to say batter is all you need in your diet. Maybe those other food recommendations (although I would point out that eggs have protein,) are important too. I am just saying that the feel good benefits of cookie dough have their place.

Like, right by me when I am bummed out- in ice cream if the weather is hot and humid, or fresh from the oven if it is cold outside….