The Motley Two Go to Motley Crue

Multiple Sclerosis meets heavy metal

 

Ahhhh, there’s nothing like a good old summer head banging concert to remind you that you have multiple sclerosis.  Or that you are getting old.  I can’t tell which.

Too often the things that make me feel old could either be signs of old age or signs of MS.  Like the horror that arose when the radio station outside the concert doors asked me a Rolling Stones question and I GOT IT WRONG!!!

There is something completely inappropriate about that.  Yes, my MS brain does face cognitive challenges and memory loss issues but not remembering the answer to an awesome Stones trivia question??  I think it’s time to redo my MRI to find out what’s going on there…

 

(In case you’re curious, the question was which Stones single was the first to hit #1 in the UK?  I said Come On and I was wrong.  If you are dying of curiosity and just can’t stand reading any further without knowing the correct answer then here you go- the first #1 in the UK was It’s All over Now.)

But I greatly digress-another symptom of both MS and old age.   The saying goes that “my MS is not your MS” and thus it would be wrong for me to say that heavy metal music is not conducive to those with multiple sclerosis.  Maybe some of my MS friends enjoy the extra amp power, screaming vocals and battling bass that make up this music genre.  Maybe you even find that the commotion that roars out of the intense drum kit comforts you.  If so, then you, my friend, are weird.

 

Yet, I found myself at an Alice Cooper/Motley Crue concert last week which is about the last place I pictured myself being on that Sunday evening.  I went because my dear friend from forever has loved Motley Crue since we were little kids playing air guitar on tennis rackets we didn’t know how to use.

Serena had never seen them live and since they claim this is their final tour, she bought two tickets.  With the craziness that comes from August, she couldn’t find any other metal heads available to go with her.

A concert is a concert and I AM a classic rock chick.   I decided to offer to go that way my friend would have company and could treat herself to a drink or two and I could be her designated driver.

Even though we’re close friends, Serena and I are very different.

She is wild and I tend to be calm.

She’s impulsive and I’m cautious.

She’s  shameless; I’m shy.

She’s spicy; I’m sweet.

birthdaybuddies

She’s crazy in a fun way; I’m crazy in an “annoying pain in the butt” way.

On paper we are as different as different can be.  Yet, we work.

We are a motley duo.

When we arrived at the venue, my first aging/MS frustration took place right in the parking lot.

I had more concert experience than Serena and in her excitement, and my ridiculous fastidiousness, we arrived super early.

Which would’ve been fine if I remembered tailgating.

How could I have completely forgotten that part of the rock concert experience?

I didn’t want to just sit in the car and so I ventured out to be social.  I talked to a family in the car next to us-their pre-teen daughter had grown up on 80’s hair bands.  The second frustration then occurred.

Without preparing for tailgating, I was standing outside of the car and standing for me is not very comfortable.  Plus, in front of our car was a pickup truck with 5 good looking guys hanging around it and they weren’t talking to me!

 

They weren’t rude and thanked me when I caught their fly away shopping bag, but that was it.  No flirtations.  No offer to sit on the bed of their truck.  No innocent conversation.

When had guys stopped wanting to talk to me?  It was depressing.

Some may say that perhaps I should have started talking to them and that by my being shy, they might not have known I was up for being social.  Serena could have fixed this issue in a heartbeat but still in the car, she was very busy.

She was worried about security not letting her make the most of her Motley Crue experience and was thus in the process of concealing important items in her bra.

To say that Serena is well endowed is like saying Motley Crue plays soft rock. (Serena’s favorite metal edged ballad Without You non withstanding.)  Endowed just doesn’t cut it.

 

She was working on a tip her daughter had given her,

“The good thing about having big boobs is that you can use them to hide stuff.”

By the time I gave up on visiting and got back in the car, Serena had managed to stuff 2 Vodka Citron nip bottles, a full pack of cigarettes and her camera all into her bra.

And you couldn’t tell!  Even me who has known her forever couldn’t see any evidence.

I panicked  when the female security officer said she was going to pat her down, but Serena didn’t even blink.  And then we were in.

There was a lot of standing,  Standing to get in.  Standing to get patted down.  Standing in the bathroom line which of course, was crucial!  Standing to get beverages…Standing to watch the bands.

 

At this particular arena when everyone stands, you can’t see a thing, not even on the close up screen which is so low to the stage it hardly seems to help.  It hurts to stand too long and so I had to periodically keep sitting.  I did my best but missed a lot. But I could guess what was going on by the rhythm of the butts seat dancing in front of me.

It wasn’t long before I had to down two Aleve tablets and pull out my bright pink ear plugs.  Why bright pink?  I was pleased to see other people with ear plugs but only mine were bright enough to light up the stadium on their own.

concert

At one point the band appeared on a smaller stage close to us and it was all I could do to stay upright as Serena jumped over me in her sprint to get to Vince Neil– think teen girls rushing the stage when the Beatles hit America.

How did this particular concert make my friend younger while it made me older?  Achy feet, achy legs, and achy ears.

At least I wasn’t whining about the temperature…..”I’m cold, can I borrow your sweater dear?”

But here’s the thing; though Motley Crue is not my kind of music, and not very MS friendly, in balancing things out, I did manage to have some fun.  I got to see flames shooting out Nikki Sixx’s guitar and Alice Cooper get his head chopped off in a guillotine, both of which were pretty cool.

 

And I did manage to seat dance all through Smoking in the Boys Room, even if it wasn’t quite as energetic as I seat danced at the last Stones concert.

And most importantly, my friend loved it.

I can tell by the hundreds of videos of the concert she’s posted on Facebook.

(Hide your camera in your bra friends-it’s the only way.)

Funny how a Motley Crue concert, like life and even life with MS, can play out when you balance, seat dance every once in a while, and rely on friends.  Relying on friends is key.

 

When I texted my Stones friend about the epic fail trivia question she pointed out that Come On was the first Stones single to chart in the UK even though it didn’t make #1.

Which helped me to feel better about being old and missing that important answer. At least I was close.

Yes, MS or no, friends help keep us young

Especially the wild ones….

 

 

25 responses to “The Motley Two Go to Motley Crue

  1. I was laughing the whole time reading this… I love it, sorry again for almost knocking you over trying to get closer to Vince… And i admit I am impulsive, still a bit wild(not as bad as I used to be)..Spicy um well if you mean not afraid to stuff booze in my bra then ok I agree… Shameless huh not sure about that one I mean I was the Queen back in the day of getting people to let us have an after hours at their home with their booze but I have lost my touch…. Thank you honey for going with me to the concert and I had the most amazing time.

  2. Well you forgot to mention that some strange guy gave me a hug, that the security lady that padded me down we had met a little while before at McDonalds, about the security ticket checker dancing her ass off in the aisle, and best of all How i got the contraband out of my bra while seated surrounded by 20,000 fans… huh gee maybe I am still wild, impulsive, and a bit shameless.. spicy i still don’t get do you mean I am hot to handle when i get pissed? …. anyway still love the blog, and thank you my smart ass daughter for pointing out that my big boobs are still good for something

    • And I forgot about the guy who handed you $5 when you gave him one of your bra stuffed smokes. Imagine how much you would have gotten if you told him where the cigarettes came from! As you your daughter’s comment, well, she IS YOUR daughter!!

  3. Oh yeah I totally forgot about the $5 for a cig guy… And as for the cute guys in the parking lot IF you had mentioned to me that you wanted to try to be social with them I would have gone over I could have offered a trade a nip bottle for some beer or something, now back when i was single I would have just done it, but as i haven’t been single for a long long time i didn’t even think of it.. Damn what happened to me LOL

  4. Yvonne strikes again!! 🙂 Randy & I also have had to tone down some of our former music likes due to it being physically painful. The worst one by far is when my son introduced me to this travesty called dubstep a few years back. The real heavy dubstep songs feel like it is rattling our guts!! It is awful.
    Randy is not a fan of much country music. But he agreed to go to a concert with me tomorrow night! After I played some of the artist’s tunes, he realized he likes many of them. First one I’ve been to in years. Randy is 50 & has never been to concert! In the 2+ years we have been married this is the first time we have gone somewhere that was 100% just for fun. Our trips involve either Dr. appointments, medical tests, pharmacy, basic errands, traveling back to his hometown area is West Texas…which always involve physical labor!! I am beyond excited about our date tomorrow night!! Drum roll please……80s classic country artist, Earl Thomas Conley!!!! 😀

    • Have a blast Susan!!! How bad is it that I don’t recognize either artist you mentioned. I will definitely take your word on it about dubstep. Hope you and Randy have a fantastic time!!

  5. Well ok yeah I was really looking forward to finally seeing Vince, but I could have started up a conversation with those guys if i had known you wanted to mingle.

  6. The Crue were here in KC a few weeks back. I didn’t go but know a few friends that went. The show was delayed 2 hours because the crew was late setting up because they were late getting there from Denver. My concert days are behind me for the most part due to my MS. I now try and go to 1 concert a year. This Year I saw Styx and Foreigner. I have all of my concerts attended in 2 scrapbooks on my FB page. Glad you guys had a memorable time.

    • I’m going to check out your scrapbooks Bryan. I think I’m good on concerts for now. I wouldn’t mind suffering to see Pink though- I think she’s cool. And of course, I will never say no to seeing the Stones but I think otherwise, I’m good..

  7. Yvonne, What a fabulous post, certainly made me smile. As for the seat dancing, You Go Girl! -Pamela-

  8. Awesome post!
    I admit, I would have worn earplugs as well (Real fickle that way).
    Man, you know your Stones trivia. I wouldn’t have a clue!
    Always heard about Alice Cooper’s theatrics. That would have been neat to see before he’s too old & breaks a hip.
    Maybe next time you’ll get to see Metallica!

  9. This was a great read Yvonne! Hey – did you know that Mick Mars has Ankylosing Spondylitis (an inflammatory condition that affects the spine)? I showed this to my husband and he mentioned it. Apparently Mick plans to continue touring and has said he won’t let the condition slow him down…

    Awesome read my friend! =D

    • Thank you so much Yvonne- I did not know that! So cool!! Is your husband a Motley Crue fan? You certainly couldn’t tell by watching him at the concert- the whole band did not stop!

  10. Yeah I agree I was a HUGE flirt back in the day, god remember how many times we would drive by construction sites?…

  11. Oh man the silly funny things we did when we were younger…. Thankfully all our make friends had a sense of humor…. My favorite has to be Lynn and I having you go into Piggy’s to tell the bouncers that some girls were fighting with us outside so we could bust in the backdoor with our matching “partners in crime” halloween costumes.

  12. On the telly: Huge riffs, massive sound, poodle perms, laser beams, a heavy dose of preposterousness, video backdrops of marching skeletons, bombast and beach balls, casual swearing, loadsa lights, lighters aloft ballads, amps at no11, pelvic thrusting and a crowd pleasing trawl through hits.

    Thank you Metallica. You made me smile.

    Past and future headliners please take note.

  13. still my favorite blog and I had the best time of my life

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