Tag Archives: wipeout

I’ve Fallen and I Don’t WANT to Get Up

MS Wipeout

 

Fido pushed me.

Fido is the name of my portable air conditioner that lives as my personal puppy during the summer months. He provides hours of relaxation and bliss this time of year, but needs constant attention and is very high maintenance.

I was walking by him during one of the hottest, most miserable days of July when he suddenly leapt out and tripped me. I’m not sure if he did it on purpose or not.

Perhaps he senses that I will be moving soon to an apartment with a real air conditioner and thus will no longer appreciate him. So he decided to act out. Sort of like when one of my dog owner friends stays out a little too long and comes home to find doggie presents in her expensive, new shoes.

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Whatever reason Fido had for pushing me, I was down. The heat misery had added to my MS balance (or to be more accurate, no balance) issues and lack of coordination. I fell over Fido and over the edge of my bed, and landed roughly on the floor.

Things hurt. A lot.

I could see the bruises forming on my arms from where they hit stuff as I went down. This summer had me looking like a four day old banana with all kinds of bruises covering my clumsy body.

 

Fido seemed to feel bad as he hovered over me, blasting super cool air in apology. How can I stay mad at his cute, little pathetic face?

While I was lying on my floor, I realized I just didn’t want to get up- who says I have to? As much as things hurt, they were going to hurt wherever I went, whether I got up or not. So I stayed where I was and let my mind wander, once I got past the hurt and annoyance at Fido.

I let him breathe cold air on me and thought about how, specifically, he made me wipeout. Which then lead to thoughts of the TV show Wipeout. Which then lead to thoughts of an MS edition of Wipeout. Wouldn’t that be fun? I started to picture how this new network hit would go.

 

The thing about multiple sclerosis is that it affects each of us differently. And for some of us, it is an invisible illness which makes people insist there is nothing wrong with us. How many people have asked me how MS affects me and then shaken their heads at all of my bruises thinking, how come this girl is such a klutz?

It is for this reason that I often don’t use my handicapped parking placard unless I really need too. But some days it is a help. Yet, I get out of my car and drag my achy legs to the store only to have people shake their heads at me and toss me dirty looks. Even if my difficult walking is obvious, people seem to look at me as if I am walking that way on purpose.

 

I have thought maybe I should get a cane just to advert the dirty looks. Perhaps using a cane would prevent a fall like the one that lead to my lying on the floor pondering all of this, except that my falls are fortunately random and rare.

In the craziness that is multiple sclerosis, I can’t imagine being wise enough to have a cane with me when I am actually about to fall. I would likely fall on my way to grabbing the cane and swear even louder.

Since I look healthy, I am not sure if I would be allowed to enter the MS edition of Wipeout.

For those of you who don’t know, Wipeout is a TV game show where athletic but crazy people try to win money on what is described as the world’s largest obstacle course. These folks must successfully bounce across the giant inflated big balls, dodge automated punches while quickly stepping across a high platform, try not to be knocked down by a sweeper arm and complete many other feats to win the money.

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These obstacles have a total MS feel, even just by their names alone; Sucker Punch, Dreadmill, Dizzy Dummy, Cookie Cutter Swing (cookies, I’m totally in!), Tumble Towers, Slippery Stairs, Butt Kicker. I swear the producers must have someone with MS in their family.

If you falter on one of the above obstacles, you fall into a pool of water. Hello, Aquatic Therapy is recommended in the treatment of MS!

 

And with so many of my fellow MS’ers practice in issues similar to the above, I bet many would do well. But if I showed up to compete, I would probably be deemed physically fit enough to enter the regular Wipeout show.

But here is where my MS would be a hindrance on the course. Brain fog would set in at some point and I would totally forget what I was doing.

How did I wind up on this big bouncy thing?

I would likely make my way over to the Dizzy Dummy and try to lean against it and take a nap. If I fell on the course, I would leisurely float in the pool and just rest. And maybe rest some more….

Lying on my floor I was just about convinced that I should write to the show and ask for an entry form. Floating in a pool, whether or not I made it up the Slippery Stairs, sounds quite lovely.

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But another MS symptom kicks in, that of the obnoxious bladder. I am forced to get up and I do so gently. Where is the Wipeout pool when I need it? I take care of my bladder, empty Fido’s bladder-heaven forbid I should go to the bathroom and ignore him, and pop an Aleve for the pain the fall has caused. I am pretty sure nothing has been seriously injured.

Next I do what I do so well. I pat Fido’s cool head and collapse in front of him yet again.

This time I manage to land on my super soft bed…..

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Image courtesy of [Grant Cochrane] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of [imagerymajestic] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of [Grant Cochrane] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of [Maggie Smith] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net