Tag Archives: robert deniro

Convicted Caper

Multiple sclerosis goes on the run

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As soon as I typed the above subtitle I started to laugh.  There are people living with MS who run, run well actually.  And often, they run races, half marathons and even full marathons, sometimes to raise money for MS research funding and awareness.

I’m not one of them.

I can’t remember the last time I ran.  That could be because it was a traumatic experience that I blocked or because MS has messed up my brain.  Anyway, if you’re a fellow MS’er who runs you have my support.

And my awe.

And my sympathy.

No, this blog is about a different type of running.

As in “on the lam.”

As in, away from the law.ID-100180737

Several months ago I wrote a blog (Lawbreaker) about how MS turned me into a criminal.  I thought that would be the end of the story.  I had repented of the unlawful sins I committed in that post and was now back to my law abiding, innocent self.  But apparently crime wasn’t done with me.

It started with my printer.

Yes, my printer.  I went to print something one day and my printer made this hideous, indefinable noise.  It sounded like- well, I can’t tell you because at the time it was indefinable.  But it was loud and scary and not very healthy sounding.

I took it to the computer store and the geek there-no I’m not being mean, I was at Geek Squad-defined the noise for me.

“It sounds like machine gun fire.”ID-100150936

And he was right. Me, who knows nothing about guns, had a printer that was set in the middle of a mob movie.

What was even more concerning about this was that it coincided with a car problem I was having.

I had to give up Gina Blue-my little blue Corolla.  She and her super leaky, unfixable roof were beyond due to go to that blessed parking lot in the sky.  I hope she is happy and at peace there.  I still miss her every day.

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Anyway, my mom came to my rescue and obtained a car for me to drive.

For this, I am especially grateful.  It is a very pleasant and efficient 2008 Toyota Camry, with one quirk however.  Every time I turn on the air vents, whether for heat or a/c this mysterious white powder comes flying out of the vents.

I kid you not; you can’t make this stuff up.

I have no idea what the powder is.

People tell me I should get it tested.  I have no idea where to do that.

Yes, I’ve had the filters replaced-twice- and had the car inspected several times.  No one can figure it out.  Yet, nine months after I started driving it, my car is still filled with this mystery.

The only thing I could come up with was that the prior owners must have been drug runners and there is a big kilo of something expensive hidden in my car somewhere.  Combine that with my printer’s constant gun shots, it’s hard to know what’s what.  I feel like I’m this close to having Joe Pesci and Robert De Niro show up at my door, demanding the goods.ID-100266028

Of course, these crimes were the fault of my new car and of my old printer.  But since they are in my possession I’m probably good for some kind of accessory responsibility.  The theft charges were totally due to multiple sclerosis however.

When I started my MS blog I had an awesome web guru that set it up for me and taught me how to use it.  He told me it was important to include images in my blog (they better attract readers) and showed me where to find free images.  I started blogging.

Then I started exploring.

And talking.

And questioning.

I met many bloggers who told me they get their images from the internet, all the time. If I were to broaden my scope I could come up with super funny images that would really make my readers crack up.

Yes, my web guru said this was dangerous.  But, I figured, he wasn’t a blogger and I had a bazillion bloggers telling me this was ok, especially if I wasn’t using the images to sell anything.

(Well maybe not a bazillion but close to it.)ID-10010474

And so I started scanning the worldwide web for free images.  And then I promptly got accused of stealing an artist’s conceptual property and copywright infringement and licensing violations and all kinds of scary other things.  Two different companies wanted me to cough up the bucks to make it up to them for the two images I used without permission, ie, stole.

I pleaded ignorance.

No dice.

I pleaded “other people are doing it too.”

As you can imagine, that didn’t jive.  They came back with “if everyone you know was robbing a bank would it be ok for you to rob one too?”

The irony of that is I need to rob a bank in order to pay these folks.ID-100317005

So my defense is simple poverty which is no defense at all.  Now I’m just hiding in hopes they get sick of looking for me.  Maybe if they truly come for me and expect me to cough up money I don’t have they might just settle for my car?

If they pull it apart they might find interesting property hidden inside worth way more than unlawful use of two internet pictures.

For the record, I no longer own the printer.  I had that destroyed.  The drug running car is still in my possession however and it is still covered in an unknown, possibly illegal substance.

I’d offer to pass it along to someone but I may need it in exchange for bail money….ID-100265697

FYI- When I started this blog a wise friend told me that eventually, MS was going to run out of topics to offer up.  Well, 150 blog posts later, it finally has.  Yes, it’s true-this particular post numbers 150!

I would like to say MS is done with all the weirdness that I can exploit in my blogs but I highly doubt that.

Here’s the thing- this hot summer I have sweated, bled, cried, slept, tried to balance, laughed, griped, whined and wrote.  After doing all of this I have come to the unfortunate realization that I need to step back from blogging weekly and focus on taking better care of myself.

(Learning to run would be a good start, never know when the law will come a’ calling.)ID-100153663

I will still blog as I believe it helps me to process all of the crazy. But I won’t be on a blog schedule.  This means that a new post will be posted the next time MS does something super crazy, or I get so frustrated with MS that I have to beat something and a blog makes me feel like it’s MS I’m beating.

I hope you will still choose to follow my random posts.  The best way to do that would be to either sign up for my Feedblitz Subscriber Service or by following my Twitter account @yvonnedesousa or by following my website Facebook page, Yvonne deSousa.com

I will miss your awesome comments and your weekly stats.  But I hope we will still be in touch regularly.

In the meantime, please keep smiling my friends…ID-100286821 (1)

 

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