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The Curious Case of Multiple Sclerosis Part 3

Can’t Stop Going

Last night happened to be one of the worst MS bad bladder nights I’ve had in a long time.  As such, I feel wicked crappy today. Or, I guess I should say, wicked pissy.  

This is getting old, very old.  I’m so frustrated that I thought I should write a blog about it.  Then I remembered I already did.  

So for those of you who can relate to MS really pissing you off, this old post is for you.

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One would think that a subtitle called “can’t stop going,” would refer to a good thing, something you would find on an inspirational poster, or in a pop song geared towards the tween set; an affirmation if you will. But when it comes to this week’s blog, you would be wrong.

Very wrong. So wrong that I may just want to get violent and punch something wrong. When something makes me want to become violent, what can I do but write about it? At least writing keeps me out of jail and protects my already tingly fingers from more aches.

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When I say “can’t stop going,” I am actually referring to one of my insidious MS symptoms, bladder issues. In my case, I have to use the bathroom constantly and for normal people, that is the end of the story. You go, you’re done; at least for a few hours.

Not for me. No, my bathroom going trips have become so constant they are hard to believe. Which is why they are part of my series on The Curious Case of Multiple Sclerosis, blog posts that explore the particularly cruel irony of some aspect of living with MS.

(If you are bored, see prior posts Part 1 that discusses aging and Part 2 that discusses the difficulty of maintaining a healthy diet.)

But back to my current problem. If this rant sounds familiar it is likely because I have ranted about it before, a lot. I have even used the line, “these bladder issues are really starting to piss me off.” (Pun totally intended.)

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The line is not mine but my sister Laurie’s and before I used it as I thought while accurate, it was also funny. That was when my bladder issues happened at night and while it made trying to sleep frustrating and difficult, it was manageable; as long as there was something good on TV at 3 AM.

But lately, the frequency of having to go relentlessly and of then not going completely when I do go, is happening throughout the day as well. My bathroom trips are turning into revolving doors. In the time it takes me to wash my hands and leave the bathroom I have to go again and repeat the process.

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Really, what is the point of going at all?

The irony of this is water. Lately, in fact just as this issue started acting up, all I hear is how good water is for you.

I know this. I have given up diet coke and am drinking a lot more water. I have also learned to drink it earlier in the day to avoid the night problem so I can sleep. Now I just need to spend the day in the bathroom.

The medication I take for this problem does help but only a little bit. And it causes wicked dry mouth which means more water. Seems everywhere I look I am reading articles on how dehydrated people are and how crucial water is to your diet. Most people can handle this added H2O intake.

Me, I can handle it great. As long as I don’t need a life outside of the bathroom.

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I should discuss this with my neurologist but as I have mentioned before, he is kind of cute. How can I possibly talk to him about this? And even if I did, I am afraid the next step in treating this issue will involve tools that I don’t even want to think about. (Private message me if you have questions about this.)

But I know that I should bring it up and I probably will at my next appointment. (Maybe by then it will have gone away?) Until then, how do I deal?

One MS professional told me to do Kegel exercises. In case you aren’t aware, Kegel’s are pelvic muscle exercises Cosmopolitan recommended in the 80’s for a more exciting benefit. In a Kegel irony of their own, they were developed by a scientist, which likely makes you unlikely to be interested in the exciting benefits.

(Again, private message me- I am trying to keep this blog at a PG rating.)

The thing about Kegel’s is that they are super easy to do and can be done anywhere. Even in the bathroom.

The MS irony here? I forget to do them! Even when I write myself a note, I forget to read the note! Easy exercise- rare and good. Forgetting the exercises-very, very bad.

I heard that this particular bladder problem can lead to UTI’s which are also very, very bad. One way to prevent that is by drinking more water. (No, I am not kidding. According to the internet, that is a legitimate way to deal with this problem.)

Another way is to eat cranberries. I am a New England girl and so cranberries are my world. I can even tell you how they are harvested. Oatmeal raisin cookies? No way. Oatmeal cranberry cookies- awesome.

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But I am on a health kick so I decided I would get my cranberries in an organic, non processed, no sugar way. Raw cranberries are a little bitter and so I poured a glass of super healthy juice. And then I immediately spit it out as it was disgusting.

Apparently, even for people born and bred in cran country, you still need a little sugar to appreciate them.

So what’s a girl to do? I added cranberry tablets to my daily meds list which meant more water to get them down and then headed to the busiest room in my house. If you are looking for me or my TV, we have permanently moved into the porcelain and tile room.

And if that pisses you off, well, you likely have a bathroom of your own…

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We ARE New Englanders

An MS blog that has nothing to do with MS

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Hi friends

I had a ton of ideas for a new MS humor blog this week.  Then things, namely life, got away from me and I had no time to write one.

I didn’t want to leave you empty handed however and so I offer this piece of writing as a substitute.  I hope it makes you smile anyway.

My plan is to be back at you on Friday the thirteenth, (yikes!) with something new.  Til then, may you all have a health and humor filled week.

Yvonne

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We ARE New Englanders!

We don’t just run on Dunkins, we INVENTED Dunkins!

Every year we expect a white Christmas.  Every year we don’t get a white Christmas. Yet, every year, we expect a white Christmas.

8-10 inches of snow is nothing for us.  But we are going to complain about it anyway,

No storm prep is complete without a visit to the packie.

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To the average home owner an air conditioner and a lawn mower are luxuries, a generator is a necessity.

We can’t wait for summer!  But as soon as we celebrate the fourth, we start counting down the days to Labor Day.

No matter how many times we see a New Yorker get confused in a rotary, we are still surprised that New Yorkers don’t know how to drive in a rotary.

Most of the country never thought much about the word “wicked” until we started pointing out how wicked awesome the word “wicked” really is…

We waited years for the Big Dig to be completed but lose our minds when there is a tie up at the bridge.

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And when we say the bridge we know what bridge that is

We are fiercely, deathly loyal to all of our local sports team, no matter how they are playing.

So loyal that when a scandal breaks out about one of them, local celebrities willingly take credit for it.

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Don’t you dare mess with one of our teams- we will fight to the death to protect their name and reputation.

But we (and only we) have the best curse words to yell at them when they are not playing well.

When Mother Nature hands us lemons, we will find a way to make a buck out of it!  Suddenly everyone has a plow and people start selling snow to crazy people outside of New England.

We know that we don’t talk funny- the rest of the country does.

We have a gorgeous ocean, beautiful bays, and lovely lakes.  But we really love our Dirty Water!

Proud to be a New Englander!

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