Tag Archives: Montel Williams

Star Wars is Coming Back!

The return of an MS smoothie master

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When I first started bloggin,g one of Montel William’s peeps sent me a free Healthmaster Elite in the hopes that I would blog about using it.  I did and the result was this blog post from July of 2012.  I’m reposting now because I have vowed to get back to making healthy smoothies a regular part of my routine.   

And because I’m not above using the current Star Wars craze to promote my own writing. ID-10079450

So the Banana Peanut Smoothie was actually pretty good.   It wasn’t as incredibly super delicious as say, a Cookie Dough Nor’easter (the Cape Cod version of a DQ Blizzard), but it wasn’t bad.   Strangely, the recipe said it made four servings when it actually made ten.  Why is that?

I think people who put together recipes and serving sizes have no idea that they are doing.  It’s like when you open a container of something really good and the label says the container contains eight servings when it barely contains three, maybe four.   Somebody is doing something wrong.

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So while I did like the Banana Peanut Smoothie, it was a little too banana-ie/peanut-ie for me and I moved on to the next recipe I was bravely going to check out.  But first, I noticed something really cool.

Before I tell you what that was, allow me to say that I truly appreciate the Healthmaster Elite way more than the Ancient Warrior blender thingy I had tried before.  The Healthmaster comes in cool colors, is easier to use and much easier to clean.  There is no removing of the blades in the Healthmaster so it is likely I will keep all of my fingers while using it.

As I gathered the ingredients for my next smoothie, the Strawberry Banana Peanut Smoothie (I chose this one as I still had some of the ingredients hanging around and those bananas were just crying out to be used again), I really looked at my Healthmaster.r2dr2

I noticed how much it resembled a robot.  Then I grabbed this cool tool that comes with the Healthmaster Elite (and was badly needed and DID NOT come with the Ancient Warrior) called the tamper.   I don’t know why it’s called the tamper as it’s really a smoothie maker’s lightsaber, used to duel the ingredients of healthy stuff into an actual smoothie.Picture 10

Since I was really impressed with this tool, I couldn’t help noticing that the Healthmaster Elite kind of looked like one of R2-D2’s cousins.  I don’t know why everything in that day’s smoothie making experiment was making me think of Star Wars.  Perhaps it was because the last time I didn’t have to worry about my weight was when I saw the original Star Wars in 1977.

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Oh Obi-Wan, I could use your wisdom on my ‘get fit’ plan.  Yes, I am fortunate to have Montel’s recipes but Obi-Wan could send in the force.

The lightsaber fascination lead to actual exercise as I dashed around my living room fighting off imaginary Stormtroopers.  Then it lead to even more exercise as I moved around the room again, this time cleaning Strawberry Banana Peanut Smoothie off the walls.

Perhaps next time I should play pretend Star Wars BEFORE actually using the lightsaber to make the smoothie.

Admit it- you want to do this-you’re making the lightsaber sound right now.

The point is, as silly as it might have been, I had fun and enjoyed my Star Wars smoothie maker more than ever.  As for the Strawberry Banana Peanut Smoothie, it was really good.   I know because the recipe said it made eight servings and I only came up with five and a half, the half being on my walls.

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So my ‘get fit’ friends, take it from me.  If it works for you as you’re trying to get healthy, do it.  If childhood memories cause you to fly around your house like an idiot, at least you’re moving.

If you, like me, have a plan I can only say to you, “may the force be with you!”

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Friends- are you so excited about the upcoming release of the latest Star Wars movie that you want even more Star Wars humor?  If so, I suggest checking out My Odd Sock’s (another funny MS blog-can never have too many of those) latest post.  My Odd Sock and I will have you Star Wars ready in no time!

My Odd Sock

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Both star images courtesy of bulldogza at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Banana smoothie image courtesy of justingun at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Bananas image courtesy of adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Laughing dude image courtesy of MisterGC at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Other images courtesy of my own private webcam

A Few of My Favorite Things

A multiple sclerosis Thanksgiving post

 

I actually wrote this past on a previous Thanksgiving.  Yet, I’m still super thankful for all the same things!  So I thought I would share it with you once again.  Have a wonderful holiday friends….

For some insane reason, I can’t get the above song out of my head even though I have usually found it slightly annoying.   It’s kind of a Christmas song, although not written as such.

As someone who loves autumn so much so that she enjoys taking her cool weather holidays one at a time, I’m not sure why this song is hanging around my lesion filled brain.

Perhaps it’s because next week is Thanksgiving and the above reminds everyone what what’s her name from that movie is grateful for.   Thus, why isn’t My Favorite Things thought of as a Thanksgiving song?

I have so many things for which to be grateful, that I couldn’t possible name them all or fit them into a song.  And trust me, mittens and kittens are not at the top of the list.   Just thinking about Thanksgiving makes me grateful.

 

For example, if my small family winds up at my place on the holiday then I am super grateful that the local grocery store sells what I like to call ‘turkey in a box; a complete holiday dinner you can just throw into the oven all prepared and no one is the wiser.

I am grateful for pumpkin pie- how could I have possibly left out pumpkin pie in my last post  Pumpkins, Pumpkins Everywhere?

I’m thankful that Thanksgiving is a day where it’s perfectly appropriate to eat too much and veg out.  It is actually un-American not to do so.

And I am thankful that even the fruits and veggies cooperate on this day and aren’t too obnoxious- think mashed potatoes, stuffing with celery, cranberry sauce, candied yams, pumpkin pie.  I know, again with the pumpkin overkill.

 

I am grateful for the knowledge that Black Friday is just a scam of hype and deals that aren’t really deals, thus allowing smug people like me the luxury to stay home, eat too many leftovers and veg out for one more day.

But this is a multiple sclerosis blog and so if I am going to list things that I am grateful for, or a few of my favorite things, I should focus on MS.

What could one possibly find to be grateful for about MS? I thought about my last few years living with this illness and did miraculously come up with things to be grateful for.

For example, while I am not thankful to have to give myself shots, I AM very thankful that they seem to be working.   And I am thankful for the extra fat cushion I have to soften the shot just a bit.

I still HATE doing them though.

 

I’m thankful to have a knowledgeable, kind, patient, young, handsome neurologist on my side as I battle MS.  I am NOT thankful that he happens to be married but I guess you can’t have everything.

I’m grateful that my primary doctor diagnosed my diagnosis quickly without having to do a spinal tap as I have heard they are just horrific.   She just had me electrocuted and shot through a tube a couple of times and we were good to go.

 

These bits of MS gratitude did not seem grateful enough.   I started looking over my blog posts for more help and realized that I started this blog over a year ago and it has since grown from a whenever I felt like it post, to a once a month post, to twice a month post and then to a once a week post.  (Thank you to multiple sclerosis for continuing to give me enough material to keep this wacky blog going- oh wait- maybe not….)

In my past blogs there were other examples of MS things I had to be thankful for.  In the post Stormy, Sleepy Sandy, I talk about my bladder alarm clock screaming at me to get up.  I am thankful that the alarm clock part of my bladder is still working.  It’s been quite a long while since I have had ‘an accident’ and I would like to keep it that way for as long as possible.

 

I am thankful that kale is considered an awesome veggie for MS’er’s as well as the world as a whole, and I can sneak its precious nutrients into my all time favorite comfort food, kale soup- see post Kale, the New Frontier.

I am thankful that due to cognitive difficulties that come from MS, when I do something stupid I have a disease I can totally blame it on- Stupid MS.

While fatigue and clumsiness are constant companions, and I am may not move so gracefully going about my day- No Moves Like Jagger but Smooth Like Montel and Chop Their Happy Little Heads Off posts- I am grateful that I’m still moving.   Being able to move about without any help is definitely something to be grateful for, even if you do move like a slug most days.

And while an eye exam discovered a new disgusting condition, Oily Tears and All, I am grateful it didn’t show any significant damage as yet to my optic nerve.  I will be able to continue reading the numbers on my bedroom scale and the milligrams on my medications going up, up up a while longer…

 

And speaking of weight and Montel Williams, I am grateful to all my friends, family  and readers who have helped me on this journey, whether they sent me cool tools and recipes to try to get fit- The Star Wars Way and 50 Shades of Green/Doing It Veggie Style posts, or whether they sent words of encouragement, or are just reading the blog after I have it to them a million times, even if it is just to shut me up about it, I am grateful.

And on this sappy holiday of Thanksgiving, I must say I am thankful to God who is the real being responsible for the above.  My health, my sense of humor or lack thereof depending on your opinion dear reader, my friends, my family and everything good comes from HIM.

Fortunately for me, HE also enjoys a good joke or two.   HE absolutely appreciates a rip roaring laugh.   I think that may be why he created us in the first place!

A Happy and Healthy Thanksgiving to all!

 

Mr. Clean is the Man for Me

Multiple sclerosis tries to clean up

It’s not a secret that I have slight germ-a-phobe tendencies. I’m not quite ready to lock myself in a plastic bubble (scrubbing bubbles to be precise) just yet, but it is troublesome. On a yearly family trip with my mom and sister, I have to run and hide when they watch reruns of Monk. It’s not that the violence is too much for me, but because it frightens me how much I can relate to his mysophobia– the official name of the condition also known as germ psycho.

But here’s another secret about me that you likely don’t know. While a germ-a-phobe, I am a lousy cleaner! Come to my house and it looks neat and tidy and organized and everything is in its place. But upon further inspection, you will see layers of dust that are freaking me out but that I don’t have the energy to get rid of. I just dusted five weeks ago- how can there be so much dust again?

While this particular personal conundrum has nothing to do with MS, my MS does not help the situation. Frankly, it is wearing me down.

Earlier this week I desperately needed to clean my bathroom. And I mean a whole floor to ceiling scrub down. I had it on my list of things to do for weeks, spot cleaning here and there to combat my mysophobia.

Thank goodness for Lysol wipes, the super expensive solution to every poor, fatigued germ-a-phobe’s worst nightmares.

 

Eventually I scheduled a day to attack the bathroom. Scheduling a day meant I had to find a day where I could rest up for a couple of days before and then be able to rest a couple of days afterwards. Fellow MSers can relate.

That morning I blasted loud rock music to help me accomplish this task. My MS aches combined with my lack of cleaning abilities combined with my MS lack of balance, made the whole 5 hour job treacherous.

Good thing I had been working on my balance issues with the Wii. The scary and weird contortions I had to twist into to get to the high places in my shower stall were worst than walking a tightrope between two skyscrapers (the balance game I am using on my Wii– imaginary skyscrapers but still dangerous.)

Many times I would have to grab the shower curtain rod to steady myself, like that was really going to protect me should I start to slip.

On my hands and knees scrubbing away at the soap scum in the tub while Pink blasted through my apartment (so what, I’m still a rock star, I got my rock moves, and I don’t need you…) I whined to myself about the difficulty that cleaning had become. Everything ached and I wasn’t even close to be being done.

 

Then something truly horrible happened- I glanced at the can I sprayed all over my tub only to see in big letters on the front- KABOOM, Foam-Tastic Toilet Cleaner. I was cleaning my tub with toilet bowl cleaner!

How could this be? I know MS made me dumb at times but I had bought this stuff because of the commercial where the lady sprays her tub with this blue stuff and then everything turns white and sparkly. But it was toilet bowl cleaner! Talk about false advertising. And now I was super grossed out.

I did my best to get off the floor, which took another 5 hours-actually 5 minutes but it felt like 5 hours- and read the tiny fine print on the back. Seems KABOOM toilet bowl cleaner can also be used on fiberglass and glazed ceramic tiles.

 

Was my bathroom made of fiberglass or glazed ceramic tiles? I had no idea. Should I go to the computer to research this? I would but was too fearful of mixing my bathroom germs with my keyboard germs.

I collapsed into a corner of the bathroom and returned to scrubbing and thinking, there had to be a better way. When the folks in the know finished making things to make cooking with MS easier, can’t they start making things to make cleaning with MS easier?

 

My brain fog actually discovered the answer-his name is Mr. Clean! Pink’s music became replaced with this jingle-

Mr. Clean, Mr. Clean gets rid of dirt and grime and grease

in just under a minute.

Mr. Clean will clean your whole house

and everything that’s in it!”

Everything? Me too? Will he clean me as well? Sometimes I am just too tired to even take a shower. Maybe Mr. Clean will help! Not on the first date of course, but maybe after a dinner or two. Before I knew it I was actually fantasizing about Mr. Clean, the man who “was born to clean.”

 

He’s strong, handsome, and he is the man for me! I don’t even mind that he’s bald. Some guys rocky baldness in a sexy way, like Howie Mandel, another person with a mysophobia problem.  Come to think of it, so does my MS hero, Montel Williams.

Maybe I could talk Mr. Clean into doing something about those bushy eyebrows but if not, I’m flexible.

That’s it. I’m throwing all my thoughts of being too tired to date out the dirty window. Mr. Clean is the man for me!

 

New life plan- I have to meet him.

And quick, my recently cleaned bathroom won’t stay germ free for long!

 

MS Madness! A “Giggle More, Cry Less” Story of Multiple Sclerosis update-

Thank you for your patience friends! I expect a release date within the next ten days!

A Few of My Favorite Things

An MS Thanksgiving post

 For some reason, I can’t get the above song out of my head even though I have usually found it slightly annoying. It is kind of a Christmas song, although not written as such. As someone who loves autumn so much so that she enjoys taking her cool weather holidays one at a time, I’m not sure why this song is hanging around my lesion filled brain.

Perhaps it is because next week is Thanksgiving and the above reminds everyone what what’s her name from that movie is grateful for. Thus, why isn’t My Favorite Things thought of as a Thanksgiving song?

I have so many things for which to be grateful, that I couldn’t possible name them all or fit them into a song. And trust me, mittens and kittens are not at the top of the list. Just thinking about Thanksgiving makes me grateful.

For example, if my small family winds up at my place on the holiday then I am super grateful that the local grocery store sells what I like to call ‘turkey in a box’; a complete holiday dinner you can just throw into the oven all prepared and no one is the wiser.

I am grateful for pumpkin pie– how could I have possibly left out pumpkin pie on my last post Pumpkins, Pumpkins Everywhere?

I am thankful that Thanksgiving is a day where it is perfectly appropriate to eat too much and veg out. It is actually un-American not to do so.

And I am thankful that even the fruits and veggies cooperate on this day and aren’t too obnoxious- think mashed potatoes, stuffing with celery, cranberry sauce, candied yams, pumpkin pie. I know, again with the pumpkin overkill.

I am grateful for the knowledge that Black Friday is just a scam of hype and deals that aren’t really deals, thus allowing smug people like me the luxury to stay home, eat too many leftovers and veg out for one more day.

But this is a multiple sclerosis blog and so if I am going to list things that I am grateful for, or a few of my favorite things, I should focus on MS. What could one possibly find to be grateful for about MS? I thought about my last few years living with this illness and did miraculously come up with things to be grateful for.

For example, while I am not thankful to have to give myself shots, I AM very thankful that they seem to be working. And I am thankful for the extra fat cushion I have to soften the shot just a bit. I still HATE doing them though.

I am thankful to have a knowledgeable, kind, patient, young, handsome neurologist on my side as I battle MS. I am NOT thankful that he happens to be married but I guess you can’t have everything.

I am grateful that my primary doctor diagnosed my diagnosis quickly without having to do a spinal tap as I have heard they are just horrific. She just had me electrocuted and shot through a tube a couple of times and we were good to go.

These bits of MS gratitude did not seem grateful enough. I started looking over my blog posts for more help and realized that I started this blog over a year ago and it has since grown from a whenever I felt like it post, to a once a month post, to twice a month post and then to a once a week post. (Thank you to multiple sclerosis for continuing to give me enough material to keep this wacky blog going- oh wait- maybe not….)

In my past blogs there were other examples of MS things I had to be thankful for. In the post Stormy, Sleepy Sandy, I talk about my bladder alarm clock screaming at me to get up. I am thankful that the alarm clock part of my bladder is still working. It has been quite a long while since I have had ‘an accident’ and I would like to keep it that way for as long as possible!

I am thankful that kale is considered an awesome veggie for MS’er’s as well as the world as a whole, and I can sneak its precious nutrients into my all time favorite comfort food, kale soup- see post Kale, the New Frontier.

I am thankful that due to cognitive difficulties that come from MS, when I do something stupid I have a disease I can totally blame it on (Stupid MS).

While fatigue and clumsiness are constant companions, and I am may not move so gracefully going about my day- No Moves Like Jagger but Smooth Like Montel and Chop Their Happy Little Heads Off posts- I am grateful that I am still moving. Being able to move about without any help is definitely something to be grateful for, even if you do move like a slug most days.

And while an eye exam discovered a new disgusting condition, Oily Tears and All, I am grateful it didn’t show any significant damage as yet to my optic nerve. I will be able to continue reading the numbers on my bedroom scale and the milligrams on my medications going up, up up a while longer…

And speaking of weight and Montel, I am grateful to all my friends and family who have helped me on this journey, whether they sent me cool tools and recipes to try to get fit- The Star Wars Way and 50 Shades of Green/Doing It Veggie Style posts, or whether they sent words of encouragement, or are just reading the blog after I have it to them a million times, even if it is just to shut me up about it, I am grateful.

And on this sappy holiday of Thanksgiving, I must say I am thankful to God who is the real being responsible for the above. My health, my sense of humor or lack thereof depending on your opinion dear reader, my friends, my family and everything good comes from HIM. Fortunately for me, HE also enjoys a good joke or two. HE absolutely appreciates a rip roaring laugh. I think that may be why he created us in the first place!

A Happy and Healthy Thanksgiving to all!

 

Image courtesy of [Stuart Miles]/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of [debspoons]/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of [imagerymajestic]/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of [nixx photography] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of [David Castillo Dominici] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

MS Extreme Sports

Multiple Sclerosis sporting events

Years ago, my 10 year old nephew spent the weekend with me and we went to the video store to rent some movies.

(For you young ones who need clarification, my nephew is 21 now so this was back in the scary days before Netflicks, On Demand and Amazon. There was no instant movie watching gratification. If you wanted to watch a movie you actually had to get in your car and drive a few minutes to a store to see if the movie you wanted to watch was even available and then you paid for it and brought it home. This is how we used to have to do it- horrors I know.)

He was into skateboarding and so the movie we rented was about extreme skateboarding. We unknowingly turned it in late and I had some explaining to do when my boyfriend and I rented a movie the next weekend and he wanted to know why he was paying a late fee for a movie titled XXX that I supposedly rented with my nephew.

“It was called XXX as in triple X sporting events-skateboarding, snowboarding, dirt biking.”

‘Uh huh.”

For some reason, remembering this story got me thinking about extreme sports for MS’er’s. I know many of my fellow MS’er’s keep themselves very active. Montel Williams went snowboarding in Chile this summer. Is there even snow in Chile, especially in the summer? I was too fatigued to Google this fact to get that question answered.

My aunt tells me her friend has MS and participates in triathlons. I don’t know what a triathlon is but just saying the word is making me tired.

And then there are a lot of people with MS who walk in the MS Walks to raise money and awareness about this insidious disease. I could do that. I bet I could walk the whole route; if someone let me borrow their motorized chair maybe.

I am proud of my fellow MS’ers and say good for them! But it is making me feel left out. How come there isn’t a sport for me to go the distance in? There are some things I am great at.

How about an extreme sleeping event? I would totally ace that one! One time I slept a total of 23 out of 27 hours! Can Montel do that?

What about an extreme bladder release event? How many times can you empty your bladder in one night? My record is 18 in a five hour time period. That is extreme for sure!

How about a driest mouth event? My meds cause the worst case of dry mouth and I swear that if I didn’t brush my teeth constantly, I could grow a forest on my tongue.

How about a pin cushion event? One time, I had three different shots in one day- my regular, a blood test and the flu shot. How many living pin cushions are there in this world?

I do, I feel left out. Perhaps I will make my own extreme video. Of course it might be a little boring for others to watch in the sleeping event.

And I am not sure how much visual detail in the bladder event I want to include, but I will figure this out. After I go to the bathroom and take my meds. Then perhaps I will rest for a bit……

Image courtesy of / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of  / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of  / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Multiple Sclerosis in Margaritaville

 

Recently, a friend who visits Florida twice a year, every year, gave me a gift. It was a glass from Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville Café and it had taken her a lot of alcoholic, frozen drinks to accumulate enough glasses to pass around to her friends.

In the last days of August, as the humidity had lessoned, the gift made me appreciate the fact that I shouldn’t be a total summer scrooge. I was still waiting with deep excitement for my favorite season, autumn, which I have decided will start on 9/4/12 this year.

I don’t care that my calendar claims the official first day of fall is 9/22- what does my calendar know? Fall will start next week- I demand it!

Translating all of the above into my healthy eating plan, I decided to finish up the last days of summer by making Montel William’s Tropical Smoothie. The first step in that plan, of course, is a visit to the grocery store where I actually found the coconut milk required for the smoothie.

Did you know there is a whole aisle in the grocery store that sells only super healthy stuff? I had never ventured down that aisle before as it looked too weird and scary. But I braved it this trip and that is where I found the coconut milk. Good thing too, as if I didn’t find the coconut milk there I planned to head to the liquor store for coconut rum instead.

It took me forever and major determination to find frozen vanilla yogurt. I am not opposed to frozen yogurt but most of the varieties I found weren’t plain vanilla. There was Ben and Jerry’s New Greek Vanilla Frozen Yogurt with graham crackers and blueberries, (blueberries are healthy aren’t they?) and all kinds of other types of frozen yogurts with delicious add ins- cookies, chocolate, caramel, fruit and nuts (yuck on the nuts.)

Eventually I found plain vanilla, and ignored the more tempting varieties. As fall would start in a few days (per me), and Tuesday I would wake up to a chill in the air and automatically need a sweater, I also purchased the ingredients for Montel William’s Potato and Leek Soup. At least I think I did.

I have had leeks before in restaurant versions of this same soup filled with gooey cheese but I am not sure what leeks look like before they go into the soup. I didn’t see a sign anywhere and so I asked a store employee who looked about 12 where the leeks were. She had no idea and asked another employee who looked about 16. He pointed to these palm tree looking things with grubby roots and I put them in my cart. I hope they are actually leeks and I am not the butt of some cosmic produce aisle end of summer prank.

Anyway, the next day I made Montel’s Tropical Smoothie and enjoyed it immensely. I drank it in my Margaritaville glass to truly honor the end of the summer season.

I thought I should drink the smoothie at the beach while I looked for sharks (there had been a lot of great whites in local waters lately), but I didn’t know how to safely transport my smoothie in my Margaritaville glass. And frankly, I was kind of tired and not really into going anywhere.

A pool would be nice. I wished there was a pool in my yard to lounge by while I drank my Tropical Smoothie and bade goodbye to summer.

I decided to celebrate in my own MS kind of way. I grabbed a beach-read kind of book, put in a Buffet cd (fins to the left, fins to the right), and lounged on my sofa in front of a fan while I drank my Tropical Smoothie.

Ahhh, paradise……

 

Remember to submit your recipes for the 50 Shades of Green/Doing It Veggie Style Contest by midnight tomorrow, 8/31/12!

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Unproductive Produce

Multiple Sclerosis and the Grocery Store

I hope anyone following my blog hasn’t given up on me and my ‘get fit’ plan that uses my Wii Fit and Montel William’s Healthmaster Elite. During late July/early August there were a few gorgeous, almost autumn like days where I was super productive on the plan. My Wii Fit and I bonded again and I actually achieved one of the fitness goals we had set, (a miracle close to the whole water into wine magnitude-it is amazing how much regular maintenance can heal a strained relationship).

And I made two more of Montel’s smoothies. Montel’s Green Fruit Smoothie was super healthy and pretty good. I wish I could call it delicious but citrus fans will likely think it so. And I made the Strawberry Banana Smoothie which was super yummy and hands down my favorite thus far!

Then the heat and humidity came back with a vengeance and I was done. No one likes the humidity and you will often hear people say “Oh, I don’t like it either-this weather is so uncomfortable.”

I have been told that while it is important to me to keep my blogs light and humorous (ie, no whinnying unless it is done for comedic sake,) it is also important to share with others what living with MS is like. So for educational purposes, please allow me to describe how humidity plus multiple sclerosis translate into miserable days and why the ‘get fit’ plan falters during those days.

Humidity for people living with MS is not simply ‘uncomfortable’. It is a severe ramp up of all your worst symptoms, specifically turning your body aches into pain, your fatigue into a state of comatoseness (so what if that is not a real word, this is my blog so I can get away with it), and your brain fog into a state of no brain at all. It hurts to even think.

After several days of this where Fido and I were hunkering down (Fido is the name of my portable air conditioner- see my post on MSRelief.com for more info  http://multiplesclerosis-relief.com/2012/07/27/petless/ ), one morning we awoke to the news that that day’s temperature would drop to 86 degrees and the humidity would fall from 96% to 91%. What a relief!

My legs needed to move for more distance than just from my bedroom to my bathroom, I had no food in the house of any kind and only a little bit of bottled water left. It was time to hit the grocery store.

Being responsible and on a budget, I ventured out of my room for a pen, paper and my coupon file. I made a list including the coupons that would help me save. Feeling confident, I ran (which for people with MS on a humid day translates to shuffling at a slow to medium gait) from my ac bedroom to my ac car, expecting to arrive at an ac grocery store.

The store was ac controlled alright- controlled to such a low state you could barely feel it. Why is it that in May, when the temperature reaches 72 degrees for the first time, the powers that rule blast the ac into an Arctic frenzy, but in August when the temperature is over 85 degrees they suddenly worry about the electric bill and lower the ac to barely noticeable proportions?

Still, I had some energy and there was a great necessity for groceries so I proceeded to shop. In the produce section, I picked up many items including a super duper bag of kale I had come to appreciate as an easy way to get some good greens into my system. As I continued to shop, the heat and walking started causing my legs to throb considerably. I moved as fast as I could to finish and forgot to even check the list I had painstakingly created. It wasn’t that I couldn’t be bothered to check the list, it was that I simply forgot it was there even as I repeatedly moved it from my right to my left hand as I grabbed likely random items.

At the check out, I waited in the long line behind a woman whose ATM card refused to work- the heat must have gotten to it too. I tried to ignore my legs which were now in pain. I considered lying across my filled cart to rest when it was time to start unloading the groceries. When the clerk tried to ring up the kale, she noticed that the bag was ripped open and pieces of kale were now falling all over her conveyor belt.

How did THAT happen? I hadn’t noticed it when I put the bag in my cart. Did a bag of cookies on an end cap I passed reach out and slash the bag out of jealousy that kale was being purchased and they were not?

Obviously, she couldn’t sell me that bag; did I want someone to get me another? I told her that I did, I was trying to eat healthier. She hit her “need help” light and continued to ring up my purchases. No one came to help. My brain fog had a foggy idea.

“How about you charge me for it and trust me to grab another bag on my way out?”

She thought that was a brilliant idea. Did she have brain fog too? Groceries paid for and bagged, I left the counter to head to produce to pick up another bag of kale. That is when I realized that the produce section was in the opposite direction from the entrance where I parked. I refused to cry. I will pick up the kale and just be on my way.

At the kale section I saw that there were only three bags left and all of them had use by dates of that same day! I am trying to get healthier but eating a whole bag of kale in one day was just too much for even the healthiest of us. I also needed to save money and so I had no choice but to head to another line, customer service, to get a kale refund.

This line was the biggest and slowest moving I had ever seen. Now no longer simply hurting, my legs seemed to be unmovable blocks of cement. I again thought about lying across my cart of bagged items. I thought about why I still hadn’t purchased one of those canes that can easily turn into a seat if you need to sit. (The reason why I hadn’t thought to buy one was because the only time my foggy brain thought of it was when I needed it.)

 

Between the Western Union requests, returns and lottery, the line seemed not to move at all. The kale had only cost $2.99, why didn’t I just leave without the refund? My foggy brain never thought about that. Instead, it came up with the idea to abandon my groceries (almost $100 worth) right there and get the hell out of the store.

I was about to do just that when the line moved and it was my turn. The clerk asked if I had a penny. The daggers my eyes were throwing told her I did not. I took a brief bit of pleasure that I was 1 cent richer after this experience.

In my car, with the ac blasting, I realized I never even used my $10 worth of coupons I had so carefully collected when I compiled my list. So be it- I was down $10 but up 1 penny.

At home, it was all I could do to put my refrigerated items away. The rest of the groceries sat scattered around the backseat of my car or just inside my front door. The good news from this saga is that as I was trying to get healthy I hadn’t purchased any ice cream or chocolate or anything else delicious that could easily melt in the heat and long lines.

AND, as the produce aisle was the first stop on my grocery store journey when I still had a brain and some energy, I HAD remembered to buy the ingredients for Montel William’s Broccoli Soup recipe. I even bought actual broccoli and will make this soup. But not that day.

Exhausted and hungry I was grateful that I bought some healthy cereal and took a box of it into my bedroom for my lunch/dinner (I had no idea what time it was, only that I was hungry.) But I didn’t grab any milk. My arms and hands were hurting too much from the excursion to pour milk into the box. Ooops, my foggy brain meant bowl. If I used milk, I would need a bowl and a spoon and it just seemed too involved a process…….

 

NOTE- I am progressing on my plan and have received some great veggie recipes to help. But I still need more. There are only two weeks left to enter my 50 Shades of Green/Doing It Veggie Style Contest. See the details in the 50 Shades of Green Blog entry.

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net