Tag Archives: cookie monster

If you were a Sesame Street Monster, which Monster would you be?

Multiple sclerosis brain fog muSings

The latest rage on Facebook these days seems to be the fun little quizzes that tell you the inner secret of what you actually are.

For example, if you were a classic rock band which classic rock band would you be? (Fleetwood Mac- I can deal with that but I was hoping for the Stones, of course)

 

If you were a US state, what state would you be? (Kansas- how did I possibly get Kansas?)

If you were one of Jesus’ disciples, which disciple would you be? (St. Matthew.   Well it’s better than Judas, I guess.)

If you were a European country, which European country would you be? (Malta, really?  I don’t know a thing about Malta.   I didn’t even know it was in Europe.)

I indulge myself in these little quizzes not because I trust them to find my true identity-I’m still floored by Kansas.  Nothing against Kansas but I am SOOOOO not Kansas.

And I don’t take part in them for fun necessarily either.  I take these quizzes as they are the perfect way to procrastinate my MS brain fog away.  While I am taking the quizzes I have an excuse for not being productive, yet I am actually doing something more than staring blankly out the window and drooling.

 

I have yet to see a quiz asking if you were a character on Sesame Street, which character would you be?  Even if I did, I don’t think I would take it.  I have previously answered this crucial question and I don’t need any more confusion in my life.

Back in September during a particularly bad MS bad mood swing, I wrote a blog called Call Me Oscar, as in Oscar the grouch.  And on that day it was true, all I wanted to do was hide deep down in my trash can and be grouchy.  Some days are just like that.  When you have MS, lots of days are like that.

 

But I’ve decided that I am not actually Oscar, at least not on a daily basis.  What I have discovered is that I am and will always be, Cookie Monster.

Even as I try to get healthy and yank out my sweet tooth, I can’t get away from cookies.

 

A couple of weeks ago I was in the grocery store where I had purchased lots and lots of healthy things.  At the register I paid for my groceries and then set money aside for the church basket for the Mass I would go to later that day.  I had exactly four dollars left.

It was when I was leaving the store that I was greeted by these insidious corrupt beings out to destroy me.  When I tried to pretend I didn’t see them, these mini demons began to stalk me. Yes, you guessed it, girl scouts.

 

They had cookies for sale and as if I wasn’t tempted enough once they forced me to make eye contact, they proceeded to tell me all the new cookie varieties.   When I was a scout I think there was only Thin Mints and chocolate chip- nice and simple, no elaborate, adorable sales folks needed.  The scouts had me cornered and before I knew what hit me, they also had my last four dollars.

And in an even crueler irony, they had given me new cookies called Thanks-A-Lots; as in thanks a lot for supporting our cookie sale even as you try so hard to consume healthier things and save money.

It wasn’t just this one incident convincing me that I am a cookie junkie.  On a family trip a couple of months ago my sister bought cookies that are actually breakfast!  They claim to be somewhat better for you than other breakfast choices like say danish, donuts or red velvet pancakes.  These breakfast cookies have good things in them like blueberry flavoring and oats.  Some of them even have chocolate.

 

How can I NOT be Cookie Monster when I can feel good about starting my day with a nutritious breakfast of cookies?   I had given up on Cookie Crisp cereal but breakfast cookies made with oats?  I’m in!

Also on this trip my sister once again expressed her concern for my insisting on consuming raw cookie dough even though the warning labels tell me this is very dangerous.  She finally got to me and I vowed to try to limit my cookie dough consumption.

And then, two women appeared on Shark Tank promoting their product of healthy raw cookie dough!

Ok, maybe I got that confused.  Maybe it wasn’t that it was healthy exactly but that it was no longer dangerous.  Their product was made to be consumed raw!

And while they do not sell their dough online, it turns out there was a store only 80 miles away from me that sells safely edible cookie dough. As soon as I get my car an oil change and those squeaky brakes looked at I’m going!

 

The other night I was talking to a friend about our various computer techna-phobe issues and she asked me if I had gotten rid of my cookies.  I keep trying to get rid of them but they keep hanging around!  Hence, I am Cookie Monster.

Is that really so bad?  I mean, he’s a lovely shade of blue and he never seems to gain or lose weight.

Life is too short.  If the true me is Cookie Monster, than so be it.  And I don’t need a Facebook quiz to clear this up for me.

On this foggy brain afternoon I am relieved to at least have answered one important life question.

Please excuse me while I now try to figure out if I was a Broadway musical which Broadway musical would I be???????

MS Madness!

cover-half

Speaking of monsters, have you gotten a chance to pick up Myron, the myelin munching monster on the cover of my new book?

I promise, this MS monster is way more fun than the MS one that lives with you!

 

A Batter World

A new and improved food group for MS’ers

 

Warning-today’s blog is not for the gullible, children, or the faint of heart.

My sister Laurie insisted that I list this cautionary note here as she believes this blog could be imparting dangerous information. She also insisted that I note that I am not a doctor or a nutritionist. While we are at it, I should also mention that I am not a scientist nor, for that matter, much of a cook.

Hey, batter batter, SWING, batter batter….

And by batter batter I don’t mean baseball, which is just not my thing.

 

Bring on hockey with all the excitement and fast moving action! And, in hockey, if any of the players decide to spit, it will likely be blood and teeth instead of tobacco- less disgusting…

This summer was a long, tough one to be sure. But while I was suffering through it, I made a new discovery. I found an awesome new step on the food pyramid. The saying for the batter I am talking about goes Hey, batter batter, STIR, batter batter….

 

You guessed it; cookie dough is the new super food and as such, rightfully deserves its own spot on the recommended daily allowance list.

Before you scoff, hear me out.

It is made from wholesome things-eggs, sugar, flour, vanilla, butter, salt, chocolate chips…All natural ingredients- no chemicals. Some people add raisins to the batter to make it healthier although I don’t recommend that. Being a Cape Cod girl, I won’t object to cranberries. And I guess oats are ok…

Cookie dough is versatile. In the summer, you can add it to ice cream which has even more natural ingredients and makes it even more cooling and refreshing than your cooling vest.

 

In the warmer months you can bake it which warms you up and makes your home smell lovely, yet an additional mood enhancer.

You can eat it raw or once cooked, you can eat it hot or cold.

You can consume it whether you are a baker or not.

You can buy it already made for you or make your own.

Here is where Laurie’s objection comes in. It says on the packaged cookie dough tubes that you should not eat it raw. I believe this is a major corporate lie. Perhaps the cookie manufacturers are in cahoots with the stove manufacturers and the gas and electric companies.

The reason they claim you should not do this, is because it is dangerous to eat uncooked eggs and if the batter isn’t cooked, then the eggs aren’t either. But I used to have a gym teacher who claimed he started his day by cracking six eggs in a big glass and then drinking it down in one gulp. And he is alive and well.

At least, I think so….

 

Also, I have a super smart cousin who just got a Doctorate degree in something so smart I can’t even remember what it is. She eats raw cookie dough. One time she got super sick after eating a lot of it but after consulting with me and doing her own research, we discovered that it was actually the stress of writing her dissertation that made her sick. The raw batter was completely innocent…

If raw fish is a delicacy, then raw batter is a necessity.

My major, problematic MS symptoms lately have been temperature sensitivities, fatigue and killer mood swings. This long, tough summer showed me the benefits of this latest super food in coping with these symptoms.

You are supposed to eat healthy to feel good. Well, I’m sorry but right or wrong, cookie dough makes you feel good instantaneously. There is no long drawn out waiting process as the nutrients get absorbed into your blood stream and start doing the things that they are supposed to do.

Take that acacia berry, pomegranate and kale!

 

Plus, cookies go great with milk giving you even more nutrients! They go so well with milk that Ben & Jerry’s even made a new flavor giving you the milk and cookie benefits all in one easy ice cold pint.

When after eating too much dough you start to feel a little sluggish all you have to do is ingest more- simple.

There are multiple examples of this- I know, I have been looking.

On the sitcom The Middle, when Frankie Hect has to break some bad news to her daughter Sue, she brings some cookie dough with her to start the talk off on a good note.

 

Throughout the beginning of time, moms would let their kids lick batter off the beaters to give the children a little lift. If the mom’s were super cautious, they would turn the beaters off first.

Cookie Monster is absolutely a gentle giant when he gets cookies into him. Hello, where do you think cookies come from?

 

If all of this evidence isn’t enough for you then take my ultimate argument- the Pillsbury Doughboy the child who lives, functions, and exists, entirely on dough.

You never see him eating his vegetables or making sure his grains are whole.

His weight stays steady.

 

And he always bounces back from violence. He has been assaulted on a daily basis and he never bruises, falls down or complains. Usually, he just giggles.

How can you possibly negate this positive role of dough in a daily diet when you witness the durability of the Pillsbury Doughboy?

You may think me ridiculous but allow me to remind you; the people in the know used to think that red wine was for drunks and pot was for druggies. Now doctors recommend them for medical reasons! So why not cookie dough?

I am not necessarily wise enough or brave enough to say batter is all you need in your diet. Maybe those other food recommendations (although I would point out that eggs have protein,) are important too. I am just saying that the feel good benefits of cookie dough have their place.

Like, right by me when I am bummed out- in ice cream if the weather is hot and humid, or fresh from the oven if it is cold outside….