Tag Archives: cheerios

Loopy Fruit

Multiple Sclerosis and breakfast collide

 

I grew up as a child of the late seventies/early eighties.  What that means is that my Saturday mornings were spent in front of the TV, with a bowl of the best sugary cereal possible, watching classic cartoons.

And by classic, I mean good cartoons; Scooby Doo, Schoolhouse Rock, Fat Albert, the Jetson’s and Bugs Bunny.

My favorite was The Flintstones but they were on in syndication.  Yabba Dabba Doo five days a week!

 

I would spend these joyful mornings getting amped on processed sugar until my mom would start vacuuming, thus making the TV inaudible. The threat of having to help clean forced me outside.

Because of this, I understand what “Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids” means.

Trust me; I’ve actually been “CooCoo for Cocoa Puffs.”

I understand the difference between “they’re great” and “they’re GGGREAT!

I know that it’s not possible to say the words, “magically delicious!”  They must be sung.

 

My favorite breakfast was Froot Loops promoted by the amazing Toucan Sam. Ahh, what could be better?

I’m an adult now and I’ve learned a thing or two.

  1. Good cartoons are now actually movies and they aren’t even accurate. I met Aladdin at Disney once and he was a total tool!!  Disney lied when they made him humble, sweet and brave in the movie.
  2. 2.Adults aren’t supposed to like good cereal. We’re supposed to appreciate the “good for you” stuff instead.

Multiple sclerosis has made my adulthood confusing and frugal.  For example, I’m not sure if milk is considered good for you anymore.  And if it is, which kind- whole, low fat, almond, goat, soy- I can’t keep track.

 

And since life with MS is expensive and I’m on a tight budget, I can’t afford the good ‘good for you cereal.”  My favorite healthy cereal costs twice as much as the others and doesn’t even have fruit in it!

How healthy is that??

I’ve tried the cheaper healthy cereals but they taste like cardboard.  So let’s be honest, I can buy them and tell myself that I will eat them but the reality is that I will come up with some excuse why I shouldn’t-like that I’m bummed out that there are no good cartoons on so I need to comfort myself with sugar, etc.  At which point the healthy cereal will sit in a cabinet getting stale and will turn into stale processed cardboard and need to be thrown away.

How frugal is that?

Luckily, Cheerios seemed like a good compromise.  They’re affordable and made with whole grains and thus somewhat healthy. I’m still confused about the milk issue but hey, you need to take things one step at a time.

As I explored my breakfast options, I discovered that Cheerios come in different flavors now.  And, what do you know, they have a fruit version!   The box even looked like the beloved Froot Loops box of my childhood.

 

I understood that since it was Cheerios, they couldn’t be as good as the real Froot Loops but maybe they were close and at least they had fruit in them-yea!

I brought some home and they were delicious!  They tasted just like the favorite cereal I remembered.  Oh joy to adulthood.

But then I began to think about this.  How could this be?  How could Cheerios steal Froot Loops and not get sued?

How could Cheerios make a healthy version of my cereal and yet still taste great?

As I munched away, the question refused to leave my addled brain. As an adult, we have the internet now and so I thought to solve the issue by comparing the ingredients.  And I was shocked!

 

Brace yourself friends-it turns out the Fruity Cheerios are not that much different in ingredients and nutrients than Froot Loops!  And the real devastating shocker NEITHER is made with fruit!!!

Fruity Cheerios has a slightly better nutrition report than its predecessor and includes something called pear puree which makes no sense as I don’t think there are even pear loops in the box!

How was I supposed to process this? How could Cheerios and those heart healthy commercials deceive me this way?

I felt betrayed.

I felt that everything I knew about life was a total lie.

I felt totally amped on sugar.

It occurred to me that I should go run around my neighborhood and tease the boys next door.

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Plus, the real frustrating part was that I had two coupons for $1 off three boxes of Fruity (I feel corrupt just typing in the word fruity after my discovery,) Cheerios and thus I had six boxes I needed to consume before I went on to the plain, not so bad for you, regular Cheerios.

The whole thing seemed awfully loopy to me….

I suppose the next disappointing thing someone will tell me to ruin my childhood was that the Flintstones weren’t real either.

See how paranoid this cereal nutrition issue is making me?  Of course the Flintstones were real- they were even historical!

 

Yes friends, this getting healthy thing is hard.  This getting older thing is hard. This getting poorer thing is hard.

What’s a confused, money conscious girl to do?

I couldn’t waste the boxes and so I did the only thing I could think of.

I pulled up old episodes of Superfriends on YouTube and ate my breakfast.

I felt comforted by the fact that at least I can get some nutrients from my new gummy vitamins.

And before you argue about vitamins that taste like candy being nutritious, I can prove that they are.  They say ADULT right on the label!

 

PS  If you can’t find any good cartoons on TV but want some giggles to go with your breakfast, pick up a copy of MS Madness!  A “Giggle More, Cry Less” Story of Multiple Sclerosis!

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Bees and Bears and Sharks, Oh My!

Multiple Sclerosis goes wild

 

I say wild not in the wild parties of my youth kind of way. But in the real wild, like nature and forests and stuff. Neither wild is very conducive to my multiple sclerosis life now. I find myself with a lack of energy for chugging from a keg at an all nighter, or camping in the woods. Unless there is a fancy, luxury resort in the middle of the woods with turn down service and quiet hours after nine pm.

But spring on Cape Cod has arrived and with it, the creatures of the wild are determined to visit and I am trying to deal. First the bees; kids, go see your parents if you want the true story of the Birds AND Bees.

 

As I have complained about in the past, the pollen in my neighborhood is out of control. It arrived around the same day that I came home and found two bumble bees throwing a party in my house. I wouldn’t have mind if they were related to the cute little bee from the Cheerios commercials. But no, these were the noisy type that can sting and drive you crazy in a matter of minutes.

I have yet to ascertain what they were doing in my house, how they got in or what they wanted. I also have no idea what they have to do with the disgusting pollen, but both showing up at the same time can’t be a coincidence.

 

I tried to research where pollen comes from but it was like studying plant porn- the words sperm and ovule were in the description and kind of freaked me out. I swear this is true- take a look.

When I was first diagnosed, it was recommended that I eat bee pollen as it would be healthy for me. Seriously? There is only so much one can handle.

The bees belonged in the wild, not in my living room. So with clever and deft movements, I tricked them into leaving through the slider and survived unscathed, albeit sneezing and yellow green from all the pollen that came in the door while the bees were being kicked out.

If I had my way, that would be the end of my dalliance with creatures from the wild, wild as in, outside. But since it is spring and I am committed to exercise, beach walks are in order. But, it seems, the beach is no longer safe.

 

Jaws has arrived and he is hungry! Last year, he and his sharp toothed posse didn’t show up until July. But like many tourists, they have discovered the benefits of the Cape in the early season. Once he was spotted, swimming was banned for two hours.

Why is that? What makes it safe to go in the water after two hours? Do the rangers and lifeguards feel that in two hours or so the sharks might be napping? I try to nap after two hours but who’s to say that great whites do?

 

It is very dangerous to hang out when the sharks are here. I personally know of over 15 people locally who have killed by sharks. And those are just the people in the movies! Imagine how many others have been attacked and killed and didn’t it make it to the final cut.

Ok, “cut” is a bad word choice.

 

Other people in the know say that the bay beaches are safe. The great whites are only in the ocean water. But I am forced to ask, how do they know? Don’t they realize that sharks can swim? It’s not like the great whites are chatting in the deep and saying, “oh, those bay beaches are lousy. No point going over there. Let’s just hang in this water. Hey Mac, stay out of that current- that is a direct wave into the bay.”

So, getting my exercise by swimming is out. Technically, I could still walk the beach but everyone knows that if a shark is really hungry, he can jump out of the water and grab you. I’m not dumb. I saw the Land Shark segments on Saturday Night Live. It’s just too terrifying.

 

Then, just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water, I mean, go out of my house, bears started hanging around. Last year, one lone bear mysteriously found his way onto the spit of land that is Cape Cod and nobody could figure out how he did it.

The Cape is separated from the mainland by a canal and two bridges. It was thought that the bear wouldn’t willingly try to swim the deep canal so he must have walked himself across a bridge, likely in the middle of the night to avoid the nasty Cape traffic. Once here, he made his way through each town, visiting historic and beautiful sites like all tourists do.

 

Eventually, for safety’s sake, he was drugged and driven to the deep, deep woods of Western, MA. He didn’t like it, and twice tried to come back. Apparently the Cape IS the place to be in June. But he was turned around.

As far as we know, he has not come back this year. I think I heard he went to Block Island instead.

Yet, I have still been surrounded by bears. These bears love the cool weather of winter. They hang out on ice. They also like to travel. They are entertaining and only dangerous to leafs, rangers, fish and birds.

These bears demand attention; attention I can provide while safely lounging on my sofa, eating veggies and drinking water.

 

Yes, bears are begging me to enter the wild kingdom. Which I look forward to doing immensely by watching the Boston Bruins in their Stanley Cup series! And, if I am still feeling wild when the game is over, I can always put on Animal Planet.

Go B’s!