Multiple sclerosis brain fog muSings
The latest rage on Facebook these days seems to be the fun little quizzes that tell you the inner secret of what you actually are.
For example, if you were a classic rock band which classic rock band would you be? (Fleetwood Mac- I can deal with that but I was hoping for the Stones, of course)
If you were a US state, what state would you be? (Kansas- how did I possibly get Kansas?)
If you were one of Jesus’ disciples, which disciple would you be? (St. Matthew. Well it’s better than Judas, I guess.)
If you were a European country, which European country would you be? (Malta, really? I don’t know a thing about Malta. I didn’t even know it was in Europe.)
I indulge myself in these little quizzes not because I trust them to find my true identity-I’m still floored by Kansas. Nothing against Kansas but I am SOOOOO not Kansas.
And I don’t take part in them for fun necessarily either. I take these quizzes as they are the perfect way to procrastinate my MS brain fog away. While I am taking the quizzes I have an excuse for not being productive, yet I am actually doing something more than staring blankly out the window and drooling.
I have yet to see a quiz asking if you were a character on Sesame Street, which character would you be? Even if I did, I don’t think I would take it. I have previously answered this crucial question and I don’t need any more confusion in my life.
Back in September during a particularly bad MS bad mood swing, I wrote a blog called Call Me Oscar, as in Oscar the grouch. And on that day it was true, all I wanted to do was hide deep down in my trash can and be grouchy. Some days are just like that. When you have MS, lots of days are like that.
But I’ve decided that I am not actually Oscar, at least not on a daily basis. What I have discovered is that I am and will always be, Cookie Monster.
Even as I try to get healthy and yank out my sweet tooth, I can’t get away from cookies.
A couple of weeks ago I was in the grocery store where I had purchased lots and lots of healthy things. At the register I paid for my groceries and then set money aside for the church basket for the Mass I would go to later that day. I had exactly four dollars left.
It was when I was leaving the store that I was greeted by these insidious corrupt beings out to destroy me. When I tried to pretend I didn’t see them, these mini demons began to stalk me. Yes, you guessed it, girl scouts.
They had cookies for sale and as if I wasn’t tempted enough once they forced me to make eye contact, they proceeded to tell me all the new cookie varieties. When I was a scout I think there was only Thin Mints and chocolate chip- nice and simple, no elaborate, adorable sales folks needed. The scouts had me cornered and before I knew what hit me, they also had my last four dollars.
And in an even crueler irony, they had given me new cookies called Thanks-A-Lots; as in thanks a lot for supporting our cookie sale even as you try so hard to consume healthier things and save money.
It wasn’t just this one incident convincing me that I am a cookie junkie. On a family trip a couple of months ago my sister bought cookies that are actually breakfast! They claim to be somewhat better for you than other breakfast choices like say danish, donuts or red velvet pancakes. These breakfast cookies have good things in them like blueberry flavoring and oats. Some of them even have chocolate.
How can I NOT be Cookie Monster when I can feel good about starting my day with a nutritious breakfast of cookies? I had given up on Cookie Crisp cereal but breakfast cookies made with oats? I’m in!
Also on this trip my sister once again expressed her concern for my insisting on consuming raw cookie dough even though the warning labels tell me this is very dangerous. She finally got to me and I vowed to try to limit my cookie dough consumption.
And then, two women appeared on Shark Tank promoting their product of healthy raw cookie dough!
Ok, maybe I got that confused. Maybe it wasn’t that it was healthy exactly but that it was no longer dangerous. Their product was made to be consumed raw!
And while they do not sell their dough online, it turns out there was a store only 80 miles away from me that sells safely edible cookie dough. As soon as I get my car an oil change and those squeaky brakes looked at I’m going!
The other night I was talking to a friend about our various computer techna-phobe issues and she asked me if I had gotten rid of my cookies. I keep trying to get rid of them but they keep hanging around! Hence, I am Cookie Monster.
Is that really so bad? I mean, he’s a lovely shade of blue and he never seems to gain or lose weight.
Life is too short. If the true me is Cookie Monster, than so be it. And I don’t need a Facebook quiz to clear this up for me.
On this foggy brain afternoon I am relieved to at least have answered one important life question.
Please excuse me while I now try to figure out if I was a Broadway musical which Broadway musical would I be???????
Speaking of monsters, have you gotten a chance to pick up Myron, the myelin munching monster on the cover of my new book?
I promise, this MS monster is way more fun than the MS one that lives with you!